Whats the sauciest thing you have encountered on site?

[derbylad]

you allow your wife to come to work.. I find it by far less hassle going to macky dees for a coffee

if the wife is good at chopping out the chases then bring her to work when the labourer is on his holidays

 

[derbylad]

well this is the problem over there....
like burger barrs n taco bell on every street corner....
getting like this here as well....

husbands eat what their wife doesn't want them to eat its called being married

 

[vjsmarwick]

OK I ain't been here for a while but what an eventful while its been lol.
Life isn't over when you get older it just gets more exciting!!
I went to a house one day after getting a call to replace light fittings they had all the fittings and just needed someone to fit them which is fine with me.
Anyway I arrived there bright and early as I had said I would and got a shout to come in !
I shouted out to let them know who I was and the reply was "we are in the bedroom" I shouted I would just wait but the reply was "no its OK just come up we want all the rooms done".
Off up the stairs I went and discovered it wasn't the kind of couple I was expecting they were lesbians not that there is anything wrong with that !
Anyway me being me passed comment on the fact I was entering most guys dreams by being in a lesbians bedroom when they were both there ! I got a bit of a laugh so I thought nothing of it and I started work.
They were sitting on the bed watching me and chatting away and I have to admit I am a not an Adonis of any stretch of the imagination ! Anyway they started turning the chat to more of a cheeky sexual nature which I rather enjoy. But then one turned the conversation a little sour by talking about my size so I quickly replied that being big was good because there was always enough for two and laughed!
She then asked if it was true fat guys had smaller d.... , to which I said I don't know I have never been with another guy never mind a thin guy so how would I know and asked if she could tell me?
She said she wasn't trying to be cheeky but that was what she had heard because of the size of our bellies it made our d.... smaller.
I tried to think quickly and all I could think of was this ! stupid I know my rely was. "well you see its like this all the best balloons are the ones blown up the biggest and because of that the bit you have left to tie is smaller ! But if you suck some of the gas out again yes it may give you a sore throat but the bit left is always bigger!" then this was the stupid part " if you want to have a go and see if it works your welcome to try "
God how stupid can you get!! I was asked if I could go finish the other lights ! Quickly assuming that my comment had not been the smartest I set off red faced and finished the work and shouted to them I was done.
" could you come upstairs again please " so up I went " we are sorry if we embarrassed you we were only playing " I said " its ok I think my reply was a little below the belt too no pun intended" to which I got such a surprise "if its ok with you could we show you there were no hard feelings " and they took me on the bed with them !! the rest I am sure you can work out but there is nothing wrong with lesbians in my book even if they are in there early 50s lol

 

[baldsparkies]

I was only 19 so a long time ago.
Married woman in mid 30s was in the house on her own with her dressing gown on.
I was working in the hallway at the time. As she walked out of the kitchen she dropped her dressing gown to the floor and standing naked in front of me she said I'm popping upstairs, hope you can think of some work to do up there.

She was an attractive lady, with a good body, but something just didn't seem right.
Was an uncomfortable moment to say the least.
I know plenty will say its a missed opportunity, but sometimes you have to go by gut instinct so I never followed her up those stairs

 

[remer1957]

Oh dear, there have been three or four occasions, whilst working in occupied properties and once at a hospital where 'it was on offer', but I have to say that my mind was focused on the job-work-and that I never strayed. I'm such a dull bloke really.:smilewinkgrin:

 

[urmy132]

hi guys rewiring firemans houses few years ago ,we had to move beds etc and found the biggest d..do I have ever seen!

Look on those guys a diffent way after that!!

 

[7029 dave]

I was only 19 so a long time ago.
Married woman in mid 30s was in the house on her own with her dressing gown on.
I was working in the hallway at the time. As she walked out of the kitchen she dropped her dressing gown to the floor and standing naked in front of me she said I'm popping upstairs, hope you can think of some work to do up there.

She was an attractive lady, with a good body, but something just didn't seem right.
Was an uncomfortable moment to say the least.
I know plenty will say its a missed opportunity, but sometimes you have to go by gut instinct so I never followed her up those stairs

Missed opportunity:sad:

 

[baldsparkies]

Missed opportunity:sad:

Don't worry Dave Iv'e more than made up for it over the years.
Remember one mans meat is another mans poison, and if in doubt do nowt.

 

[rustynails]

Found a gentlemens scrap book under the bathroom floorboards yesterday :happybday:

 

[Pete999]

Packet of OMO strategically placed for all to see OMO= old mans out, as per 1970s married quarters.

 

[rich.250]

Quite often find ladies rabbits and even the odd pink fluffy handcuff while getting to sockets in bedrooms on EICRs lol.


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[7029 dave]

Was rewiring a big old house many years ago (posh old bird), me and the mate was moving around furniture, to lift carpets and floor boards, when the sideboard draw opened up, out fell this bloody great big TOY to put it politely lol, still funny now, we both thought you dirty old suka.

 

[rapparee]

Packet of OMO strategically placed for all to see OMO= old mans out, as per 1970s married quarters.

A workmate was telling me about this, he was in the navy. Only he said it stood for On My Own. Either way it stood for the same thing.

 

[Danny Gimblett]

once was working in a filthy house was owned by an obese lady who didn't get out of her bed (the pit) all day, well I had to get behind her bed which she was lying in to get to a socket which would involve me moving the bed, I said to her I need to get behind your bed to get to that socket she said okay no worries go for it. She had absolutely no intentions in getting out of her bed so me and my mate dragged the bed out the way with her in it!!! my mate pulled on the head board and it broke and smacked the ol girl on the head haha absolute disaster. we never did end up going back there thankfully lol (ps she was going 25st at least)

 

[Kamikaze]

Quite often find ladies rabbits and even the odd pink fluffy handcuff while getting to sockets in bedrooms on EICRs lol.

Sounds like you’ve given Harness69 a good test and inspection. Did she…cough, cough…encourage you to play a word association game?:wink_smile:

 

[shanky887614]

once was working in a filthy house was owned by an obese lady who didn't get out of her bed (the pit) all day, well I had to get behind her bed which she was lying in to get to a socket which would involve me moving the bed, I said to her I need to get behind your bed to get to that socket she said okay no worries go for it. She had absolutely no intentions in getting out of her bed so me and my mate dragged the bed out the way with her in it!!! my mate pulled on the head board and it broke and smacked the ol girl on the head haha absolute disaster. we never did end up going back there thankfully lol (ps she was going 25st at least)

i think id have done it on purpose as well XD.


found some **** mags above the ceiling and as the job wasnt a rush had a look through.



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[Midwest]

I remember as an apprentice, being sent to the stores by the electrician to collect a replacement front panel for one of the storage heaters we were installing, which strangely was fine when I unpacked it. But the lady of the house demanded it was replaced straight away.

Electrician insisted I returned the damaged panel back to the stores as well, as proof. Which was great, as he had the van, and I couldn't drive. So I had to strap the panel to my back, whilst I rode to the stores on my moped. I was gone some time as you can imagine.

When I returned, they were both sat on the stairs smoking cigarettes and looking a bit sweaty. :yesnod: