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Kamikaze

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Went to the big orange shed this afternoon for some PVCU corrugated sheets and some lengths of wood. Got to the checkout and was asked for my post code. Told her I didn’t know it. She then asked me for the address. Told her I didn’t have one as I lived in the woods. That’s why I needed the corrugated sheets and the wood. To try and make the place watertight for the winter. She then said she couldn’t complete the transaction without it. To this I replied; ”Oh, I will just have to leave it then. Do you think Wickes will accept my money?” And with that the manageress, which was loitering around the self service checkouts trying to entice costumers to use them, shot across to the till and made the problem go away. You got to love them even when they overtrain the staff!
 
I got caught out years ago when I bought a free view box as a present, had to give my name and address so I did and didnt think any thing of it until I got a bill from the TV licence people because our tv licence is in the wifes name and not mine. Took a bit of messing about with them to sort it all out, never again.


Whilst on this subject. At a well known national sandwich shop I asked for a meetball cheese melt.

Do you want cheese on that?

Yes, its a cheese melt!

Its like asking do you want bread with your sandwich!

Another one is

May I have a double cheese burger please.

Do you want fries with that?

If I wanted fries I would have asked, I know you sell fries, I can see the fries being fried but I only wanted a double cheese burger, thank you. aaarrrhhh
 
Stupid place. Everytime i go in there most the staff are leaning against the structure. You would think it will fall down if they moved to do some work
 
The one i hate is the one we have all had. When working on a job you always get someone asking "Do you know what your doing?" i always reply of course i do the green and yellow has always been live hasn't it. Since i have a dead pan sense of humour they genuinely dont know how to take it.....lol
 
I was asked for our postcode in Asda the other week, as above I was asked for the address which I refused. With some indignance the checkout operator it was only for monitoring purposes so they could see where their customers came from. I then told them that I lived and worked in Nigeria and lived at a hotel when I was over visiting family and friends and gave them my brother's old address over there. She then just about demanded am address for a family member who I was visiting, by this time I had finished bagging up what I'd bought and wished her good day
 
Marketing is getting ruthless these days. My girlfriend keeps getting texts to claim personal injury for a road accident she never had!
 
I went into a shop for 4 batteries at 48 pence each, the girl carefully worked out the total with her calculator and asked for £5 and some pence, I queried it and she showed me the calculator so it must be right!.
 
At a car boot sale in the summer and a stall was selling a load of beer glasses (nicked from the local pub I guess). A customer asked "how much luv?" Young women behind the wall paper table replied "20 pence each".

"How much for a dozen?"

After the young girl rolled her eyes a few times, looking a bit under pressure she said "£3.00" and the bloke bought them at that price! It was one of those moments that made me chuckle. Why dont people work out how much stuff is before they put their hand in their pocket.
 
Went to the big orange shed this afternoon for some PVCU corrugated sheets and some lengths of wood. Got to the checkout and was asked for my post code. Told her I didn’t know it. She then asked me for the address. Told her I didn’t have one as I lived in the woods. That’s why I needed the corrugated sheets and the wood. To try and make the place watertight for the winter. She then said she couldn’t complete the transaction without it. To this I replied; ”Oh, I will just have to leave it then. Do you think Wickes will accept my money?” And with that the manageress, which was loitering around the self service checkouts trying to entice costumers to use them, shot across to the till and made the problem go away. You got to love them even when they overtrain the staff!

Next time simply say MK9 2NW - its the postcode for Homebase!
 
Its all about sales targeting even the internet does it as I was searching for a downflow heater next thing I am on the TV listing site to see whats on and a advert box was promoting downflow heaters
 
I got caught out years ago when I bought a free view box as a present, had to give my name and address so I did and didnt think any thing of it until I got a bill from the TV licence people because our tv licence is in the wifes name and not mine. Took a bit of messing about with them to sort it all out, never again.


Whilst on this subject. At a well known national sandwich shop I asked for a meetball cheese melt.

Do you want cheese on that?

Yes, its a cheese melt!

Its like asking do you want bread with your sandwich!

Another one is

May I have a double cheese burger please.

Do you want fries with that?

If I wanted fries I would have asked, I know you sell fries, I can see the fries being fried but I only wanted a double cheese burger, thank you. aaarrrhhh

It always makes me chuckle when they ask: "Is that a meal?"
I usually respond: "No, I think it's more of a snack than a meal."
 
Another one is

May I have a double cheese burger please.

Do you want fries with that?

If I wanted fries I would have asked, I know you sell fries, I can see the fries being fried but I only wanted a double cheese burger, thank you. aaarrrhhh

This one really annoys me as well, I am not fond of chips and never ask for them, I once thanked someone who, for once, did not ask if I wanted chips (I can't stand fries).
I do wonder how many people order a burger and then when it arrives says "well, where are the chips I didn't ask for?"
 
the worst ones are the customers,they order from the menu then ask for a totally different thing from what they make...can you take this out i dont want sauce in it etc ...its maccy d's man,if you want a plain bun and a dry burger make it ya self.. now do one...should be the answer..from billy 1 star..
 
Years ago, when the Dove range of skin care products were launched, my Mother asked me to get her some Dove soap. I when in to our local Wilkinson store that usually stocks the new lines quickly. I'm looking around the aisles trying to find it. I obvious look lost, an assistant approaches and says "Can I help you sir." "Yes please." says I "Do you sell Dove soap." She replied "Have tried our pets department." I stood open mouthed in astonishment, you could not make it up!
 
As a lad of 16 I did a xmas job at a hotel as a bag boy also helped the waiters when they were busy. I was asked by two elderly women that had just eaten their Christmas lunch "why was the xmas cake so dry?" I apologized and said that we got it delivered 3 weeks ago and it may be that. Both of them burst out laughing at me to the point their false teeth almost came out. How did I know that they make xmas cakes months before hand so it can become richer with the rum. I got such a grilling from them two old lasses, made me feel like a right fool.
 
The management of some places leaves a lot to be desired too. My wife works in a well known large supermarket and some of the things she has come across you just couldn't make up. Last week she was telling me about a guy who bought the shops own brand disposable razor costing pennies and i mean virtually pennies. Well said guy only went home with his product and had a shave then brought it back to the store for a refund as it didn't give him a close enough shave......and the store gave him it!

then there was the woman who when she got home with her shopping a bottle of sherry had moved and smashed in the boot of her car so she phoned up the store to complain. She was not only given a full refund but was given a big bunch of flowers and vouchers to spend in store as well as having her car valeted.

My wife tells me so many of these stories and honestly you couldn't make them up
 
I went into asda last Christmas looking for cranberry's. (the wife makes lovely cranberry jelly) when I couldn't find any on the shelf, I asked one of the staff and he said " that's a seasonal product we don't sale them this time of year" I then pointed over his shoulder at the big sign advertising their special Christmas prices for them.
 
At a car boot sale in the summer and a stall was selling a load of beer glasses (nicked from the local pub I guess). A customer asked "how much luv?" Young women behind the wall paper table replied "20 pence each".

"How much for a dozen?"

After the young girl rolled her eyes a few times, looking a bit under pressure she said "£3.00" and the bloke bought them at that price! It was one of those moments that made me chuckle. Why dont people work out how much stuff is before they put their hand in their pocket.

Maybe it was a butch bakers dozen…lol

 
Next time simply say MK9 2NW - its the postcode for Homebase!

I will have to dry and remember that. :biggrin:

 
I was once standing in the queue for the checkouts at Comet. There was only one in use and the manager was working it. There was a more mature lady with one of those mobility walking frames in front of me. All she was buying was a radio alarm clock for about £14. When it came to sorting her transaction out, he asked her eight times whether she wanted the £3 a month over the next 4 years extra warranty to give her peace of mind, which each time she politely declined. I lost my rag and gave him a piece of my mind. Well, he was being a knob so he had to have it! As I walked through the doors on the way out, I had a tab on my shoulder. It was the lady thanking me for standing up for her. We were having a little chat and a joke when she admitted she was intimidated by it all and was thinking about taking him up on his offer. I explained to her how foolish that would have been and how the next time something similar happens, she should just drop to the floor and fake some sort of heart attack. Comet would pay good money to keep that story out of the papers.
 

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