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I almost liked a 2013 OP - I'll like @Kamikaze instead for opening the doors again. Not sure if the wife will allow me in here after hours.!
 
The night shift started off a bit late. The captain of the starship and his 1st officer didn’t leave until 8pm. Don’t know why these bigwigs have to hang around this late on a Friday night. Anyways, The Gorilla was minding the main gate and scrutinising the work attire of the punters before he was letting them through the doors. Telectrix got turned away because he came dressed as Chewbacca. That was a proper wookie mistake! I would make a Davesparks the vampire hunter joke but I don’t think it would ever see the light of day. HandySparks broke the Bonnie Tyler jukebox. It was crap anyway! It kept telling him to turn around and every now and then it would fall apart. Mykey bought some steel toe cap boots off a local drugs dealer, Don’t know what he’s laced them with, but he’s been trippin ever since. Rpa07 finally found miss Moneypenny’s G-spot! Don’t worry about the wife bro, what happens in the canteen stays in the canteen. Grantr37 blew up one of the fridges. I think something may have gone off in there. Darkwood was riveting the ladies with his theory about calculating the circumference of the known universe to the width of a single atom with the first 39 digits of pi. Which was quite funny because Beachlover actually thought she was about to get some pie. But what I really want to know is, after a plethora of Sparky Juice, my mouth always feels so furry. What da hell does Pete999 put into them cocktails? I’m off to the Birmingham Christmas market today to confront my phobia of German sausages but I fear the wurst. I’m leaving the dishes for someone else to clean up. Laters my Ohmies!!!:D
 
Popped my head in. Looks like the cleaners have been in and left a gratitude box for my attention. Of cause I will leave them a tip, it would be rude not to. Slips a note in “ Don’t kick big dogs ‘cause they bite”:).
Eh oh… what’s this in the corner? A model 1015 Wurlitzer! Where did that come from? Oh look, it’s got Steve Winwood on it!
 
Rides into the canteen on the sinclair C5 of interstellar taxis the “Skyjack SJ16” and finds the place looks like someone lost a game of Jumanji. Got instructions from the captain of the starship to stick a statue of Jesus on top of the Christmas tree. Personally, I think he’s lost the plot. What ever happened to the 12 days of Christmas and is it not too much to ask that for just one week a year, we can all enjoy Christmas without spoiling it with religion? Mind you, I miss the good old days when Lt. Uhura used to sit on my lap with all her hailing frequencies wide open. Back then mistletoe was fun and not sexual harassment. Anyways, I’ve got a copy of the Ferengi rules of acquisition in a tupperware box for Miss Moneypenny’s secret Santa this year. Hope she enjoys it!!! I know the internet needs me but I’ve got to get on with some work. Just remember, loose lips sink ships. Laters my ohmies!:D

 
That was a hard slog but the canteen is shipshape again. Time to rescue some food and beer from the fridge. The captain will never know. It’s a good job he doesn’t have to hunt for his own food. He doesn’t even know where the sandwiches live. Although to be fair to him, we have strange customs here on the starship. The food has names here. Just helped myself to a sandwich from the fridge and its name is River Tam. Exactly the same name as our terminator infiltration unit. Bizarre!!! And whoever said great things come in small packages hasn’t seen that big projector screen I’ve put up for tomorrows showing of “Bad Santa”.:D
 
Episode 1 of Lieutenant Commander Data ruined my week!:)

On a scale of one to afternoon tea, it sits firmly at Fawlty Towers. Data’s attempt of humour during the movie has landed him in a spot of bother. In the canteen twilight, he flashed his sausage roll at Deanna Troi. She should have seen that coming! Apparently this is a common occurrence outside McDonalds in Newcastle but on a starship this is frowned upon. Personally I blame the Captains insistence of keeping the crew on Brantisvogan standard time. A seventy-two hour day. After a few months you will either get used to it or you will have a psychotic episode. Anyway, I will try and show the movie again this evening and will get Seven of Nine to keep Data preoccupied with a game of hide the sausage.:D



Just think, google somewhere is storing this thread for posterity…lol.
 
I’ve just been to a lawless KFC and it was like Mad Max but with old women and chickens. I barely got out with my bucket. Mike Tyson wouldn’t have lasted two minutes in there. Time to stick ITV 4 on the projector and watch Escape To Victory.:)
 
Love it Kami :)
Your musings made me think of "What's Rangoon to you is Grafton to me" an Oz radio play. Link for your viewing enjoyment ...
http://www.simonrumble.com/psychedelicatessen/rangoon.mp3
Welcome to the canteen Wilko. Sorry there was no one about yesterday and anybody that is about today will be like a ghostly apparition. And ever since they installed the 42 circle magic roundabout and the one way system, most people take their dinner at their work stations now. To be honest, I have to thank Google, Wikipedia and whoever invented copy and paste for the furnishings of this thread. It could also be the reason why the kitchen ladies are always hyperventilating into a paper bag when they casts their eyes upon me. It wouldn’t be the first time they wrestled me to the ground shouting “NOT TODAY KAMI, NOT TODAY”. And thanks for the link. I really enjoyed that!!! Strange how I’ve never heard of that radio broadcast. Mind you the 70’s are a bit of a blur to me. Hope you’re having a really good Christmas and Santa didn’t die in vain for our presents. I do believe that Japan has yet to understand Christmas.:)
Site Canteen Christmas in Japan - EletriciansForums.net
 
I thought the pub was boarded up and only the squatters were at home but it appears the mods have let dksanders in but left poor old freddo outside in the cold. There was talk of knocking it down and building a bypass. Anyway, the site canteen on the other hand will keep going as long as we can refill the fridges with PME Export from the Captains private quarters…lol. Next weekend is the officers dinner and dance. There’s bound to be some leftovers. It’s usually a very opulent affair. The good thing about this week is that we have finally traced the data leakages in the main communications conduits which have been a bugbear since day one. Also, whenever the Starship is in space-dock for routine maintenance, and the senior crew are on leave, I turn the volume up and play some tunes on the intercom. Strictly forbidden at all times but hey ho, what are they going to do without an artisan like me? Besides, Lieutenant Commander Hecate loves seeing me in my standard issue armoured vest and leather pants. I just wish she would hold the torches still while she’s air-guitaring. Twice tonight I’ve reprogrammed the heartbeat of the earth sensors with a sunny disposition because I can’t see what I’m doing. Having said that, some tunes just can’t be played LOUD enough and don't go on long enough. All I know is, I want MORE and I want it harder and faster.:D
 
The pub has got too cliquey and the snowflake students are hogging the pool table.
What's going on in here then? Can I get a Breakfast A?
 
My word, you lot can drink! The fridges are empty again and there won’t be another Starfleet party and an opportunity to raid the Captains quarters until Friday the 21st of December. Archy, I see you have the top score on the pinball machine again. And Adam W, no one has been able to eat breakfast in the canteen since they replaced the waitresses in a cost cutting exercise with Bluetooth enabled spoons. I can’t for the life of me work out how mine is supposed to work. Anyways, time to release the voices trapped on the black discs in the jukebox and do some air-guitaring with Triggers broom while cleaning the floor.
A Stereophonic tonic that puts a whole lotta led in my pencil and the only problem with this video is that it ends!:)
 
Pokes patch round door...quiet in here...Jabber the parrot screeches in despair at the state of the place...
Oh well, can't barge in without bringing a first-foot present, so drags huge crate of San Miguel into the body of the kirk and on knee (wooden one) stacks the fridge to the brim...
Pulls a big peg o' rum to steady his screwdriving hand then carefully eases his wiha out of his pocket...
Makes 3" circular hole in plasterboard wall behind fridge, inserts hafele cover, pops poly bag of weed in and closes flap then gathers dirt and dust from filthy floor and spreads it over the cover...
ah! company Hi Grant! Is that a Domino's? Have a beer and let's tuck in! No Jabber, behave yourself! Stop shi**ing on the floor! Oh, can't see it anyway...
Lynyrd Skynrd on the juke box, Free Bird Jabber preening and disco-dancing, my mate Jim arrives with 6 steak bakes from Greggs and a bottle of Rioja...good times!
Oh! Is that the gaffer arriving? No, it's Mish Moneypenny again, with a small person in tow! Happy? I dunno, not the time for guessing games! Party on! Hic...
 
The first gulp from that glass of San Miguel was magnificent! Ok…you and Jabber can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go. Since Miss Moneypenney and Seven of Nine are here, why don’t we play a game of strip pocker, but girls only get one card.:D
And don’t worry about the holes behind the fridge we can always thin veneer across all them cracks.;)
And the band played on!
 

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