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kathwilcox

Lets have some fun with the things that have made you laugh while you have been at work! Be it laughing at a work mate, customer or just something that you have seen.

I will start it off with something that happened just before Christmas, makes me chuckle just thinking about it!:biggrin:

I was working in commercial premises and had taken my son with me to give me a hand pulling some cables through some 20mm conduit, had quite a long run of cables, i'm about 7m up on a scissor lift and he is at the bottom pulling the cables as I'm feeding them through, trying not to loose my fingers, all of a sudden i hear the biggest fart and him say, oops it just fell out, i think he was pulling the cables a little to hard, well after 10 minutes of me being on my knees crying with laughter we finally got the job done.

It's just took me 10 minutes to type this, as it still makes me laugh now!

Sorry but I do find the silliest of thing funny!
 
We're doing outside lighting, they're very old stone built listed buildings, there's a labourer clearing up underneath our scaff. I jumped down to get some kit, on my return I picked up a bit of stone that's got a sthil saw cut in it and shook my head "Oh no" I said "Stone worm, we have a huge problem"
So after explaining the dangers of stone worm and how they can destroy buildings and a couple of switched on brickies (I know that's a contradiction) the labourer went to the site foreman to try to explain why the whole site should be shut down immediately.
 
I remember when i was in the 3rd year of my apprenticeship, had a bit of quiet time, so was doing ods and sods around guvnors house, he had us dig out half of his front lawn in order to put type 2 and shingle down to extend his driveway, anyway we had quite a bit of turf all piled up and so the 1st year apprentice asked us how we going to get rid, well just across the road from the guvnors house was a parade of shops, we came so close to convincing the 1st year apprentice that he could take it over the road to the TURF ACCOUNTANT
 
The list is endless

I've got this apprentice who aint the brightest button in the box bless him. There's joiners on site, one of them asks me if I've seen his cordless extension, he gets a two word reply. "How about the boy?" he asks
I tell him I'd be better off without him, just at the time he comes back around the corner.
Joiner then asks him about his cordless extension, "What colour is it?" he asks (Numpty)
Joiner then tells him that someone on the other side of the site had it last, so it's now apprentice tennis. Back and forth over the site for about an hour until someone sends him into the site manager's office
frankie then showed him a corded drill and a cordless drill to try to explain his fool's errand. It took him an age to get it.
Needless to say the young gentleman in question did not get through his apprenticeship
 
Same idiot once asked "A mammal that lays eggs? for my crossword"
"Rhinos" we said "Have you seen the size of their nests?"
Stupid bugger took it all in
 
I just taken my last exam from school and went to work at a powder coaters, the owners son asked me to go get the Tartan Touchup, off I went to see Keith oh had it, little did they know, I was not stupid and Keith was a family friend, I got a 45min break, and went back before they thought something was suspicious, I just said he is out of stripes to make it up!
 
working at the old Edinburgh Royal infirmary guys taking down the old mid stair lift had a youngster on ground level above hole to basement passing dropped stuff up to skip level Basement was old mortuary someone shouted him down he was shaking I asked why he was shaking "Dead bodies n gostiess" was his reply I then mentioned that gosts dont exist and the deed bodies had been removed years ago Then while running my foot up back of his calf I mentioned that only thing down there were the rats he jumped 6ft across hole from a standing start EVERYONE had to take half hour as we were all rolling around on the floor
thats still a fav of mine n it does catch a good load of folk out
 
We're taking the mick out of the new apprentice, we're all 2nd or 3rd year so we lay a trap for him, a big length of T+E with bare ends. Round the corner we hid with an old type wind up megger, sent the new guy on a fools errand to tidy up the workshop.
So the cable we're hooked up to starts to move...time to crank the handle. Only problem is it's the big boss who picked it up and we gave him 500V
OOPS
 
One of the guys at work tells me a story of how they was working in an office and had to get on top step of a pair of steps to get above the ceiling tiles after an age trying to work out what was going on he walked back down the steps.

Problem is that he had managed to turn himself around on the top step so was walking down them backwards, and he's a big lad.
There's a reason why I don't do top steps!!
 
I have a good couple of them but unfortunately i can`t post them in chit chat :) more suited to the arms or ill be modding myself
 
The kitchen fitters I regularly work along side always wind me up, when I turn up for my first or second fix they always shout out loud so the tenant will hear "here he is, this electrician earns stacks!, he's got new flash BMW, had his own house built for him, abroad 5 x a year" then I'll get my iPad out to to my test Certs on... They'll shout out "Look.. There's nothing this spark hasn't got"........ He's one of these that sounds so convincing, 9 out of 10 customers always believe him. Although he's talking complete blox it still makes me laugh every time..the customer thinks because I'm an electrician, I must earn megger money and what he's saying is true... I just play along with it now
 
We had a young lad on work experience and let’s just say he was a bit special. He only lasted a couple of days on the farm next door to the factory unit we were wiring. The farmer said he was a liability and that in itself should have send alarm bells ringing with our bosses but it didn’t.
On this particular day we had a NICEIC inspection of the unit and the jumped up little Hitler had me raging like a Rottweiler. He wanted slots cut into all the S.W.A. glands, lock rings & distribution board enclosures, and then have them all lined up to stop eddy currents. I was ready to make his birth certificate a worthless document when the lads dragged me outside.
While this went on the young lad got bored, borrowed some tins of yellow gloss from the painters without asking, and had painted a wiggly line on the Tarmac from one end of the lane to the other. Went straight over all the cars and vans including the NICEIC inspectors. The only car he didn’t do was mine. Not because he like me but because he had run out of paint.
For some strange reason I cheered up instantly! :yes:
 
An apprentice fresh from our own training school.
I asked him to fit conduit saddles to a line I’d drawn on a RSC, got taps and tapping drills for him from stores so he could keep them for future use, then just left him to it. Came back and sure enough there’s a neat line of saddles along the beam ready to put the conduit in. I’m chuffed and let him know how well he’d done. Asked him if he’d had any trouble tapping the holes. “No, I got a bigger drill out of your box and put Rawlplugs and wood screws in”. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The conduit was still there when I left the company 15 years later. And NO! I didn’t let on to anyone else at the time, but we would both burst out laughing when we walked past it.
 
worked on a site once and a lady who was rather posh and had complained about everyone at some stage came to the house she was having built,well she got out of this Porsche with her mate and they both tottered through the mud in high heels"hey you tradesperson type creature" she yelled to me,my apprentice went white as he wondered what i would do."yes love what do you want?"I asked"how high should a breakfast bar be?" came the reply "depends how tall is your husband?" I asked "about your height" out comes tape and after a quick measure "about 22 inches" "why that?"she asked "well" says I "any lower and hour hubby,s gonna hurt his back, any higher and he,ll be on tiptoe " .Lady goes bright red,her mate stands there shaking and trying not to laugh and the apprentice is muttering about jobcentre,s, next thing she bursts out laughing"oh you are a one I never thought of that" she said.Dont know if she learned a new use for a breakfast bar that day but I was the only one on site that she never said a bad word about.
 
I tried a new labourer/mate called Gary, was only young straight out of school. I asked him to get me some earth sleeve, he asked how much so i said about a foot. He thought for a moment and said he never got taught imperial at school how much is that ? I must admit i thought this was his kind of joke so i said just measure your foot and give me that much. He thought about this and his reply was but everyone has different sized feet so how can this be a foot of cable. I finished with we can call it a Gary foot of cable and make it a new metric measurement just for you. He did not make day 2 !
 
funny, but true. isn't it sad though that the young ones can't understand proper british measurements. sod ther mks system. use the ytf system---- yards, tons, fortnights. the young 'uns will remember only the last of theses as dole gets paid fortnightly.
 
It’s always made me chuckle. 10½ inches of 25mm conduit, 30yds of 35mm SWA.

I’ve still got a 1 chain (22yds) tape measure. Now that would blow an apprentices mind.
 

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