A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[pirate]

Q: Who was the youngest ever international tennis champion?

A: Foetus Gerulaitis

 

[Pete999]

Q: Who was the youngest ever international tennis champion?

A: Foetus Gerulaitis

Boris Dicker

 

[telectrix]

not Doris Bicker?

 

[John#1tester]

It must be horrible working in the job centre ..

Getting sacked and knowing you still have to go in the next day

 

[Dillb]

Whats the difference between and Indian and a African Elephant?




Ones a Elephant.

 

[telectrix]

Whats the difference between and Indian and a African Elephant?




Ones a Elephant.

and the other works in a call centre.

 

[pirate]

Oh, so it's ancient jokes day is it?

What do you call a nun on a C5?

 

[Wilko]

Flying Nun?

 

[pirate]

Nope!

NB for those younger readers who don't know what a C5 is/was...you will never get this.

 

[Wilko]

Got sent this one today by Daughter - it did have me cackling by the end

 

[Pete999]

Got sent this one today by Daughter - it did have me cackling by the end

Original lyrics, carp, no wonder today's youngsters are screwed. Kin Ell what is this World coming too? where is the sanity in this CARP? and people pay for this CARP, Just wonder what our parents think of today's youth?. Reckon my Old Man would turn in his Urn.

 

[telectrix]

Oh, so it's ancient jokes day is it?

What do you call a nun on a C5?

St. Claire?

 

[Wilko]

Original lyrics, carp, no wonder today's youngsters are screwed. Kin Ell what is this World coming too? where is the sanity in this CARP? and people pay for this CARP, Just wonder what our parents think of today's youth?. Reckon my Old Man would turn in his Urn.

No worries Pete, it's just a joke. I think today's youth are just fine, including my Daughter who sent this to me.

 

[pirate]

Virgin on the ridiculous.

 

[littlespark]

Just saw this, thought I would share;

Turning vegan would be a big missed steak.

You're welcome

 

[littlespark]

Remember everyone that the clocks go back this weekend...
unless you're dyslexic... in which case your cocks go black this weekend

 

[telectrix]

or do the blocks go cack?

 

[static zap]

or do the blocks go cack?

That describes my problems this morning !
( Early morning dyslexia )

 

[Leesparkykent]

 

[Pete999]

View attachment 45413

But I have heard a differing version, which would cause an instant ban for Pete999

 

[Taylortwocities]

Hmm. Need to change the title of this thread.

Is the thread new?
Not any more, it isn’t!

Are the jokes new?
Definitely no!

But I’m not one to complain. Where’s that Merlot??

 

[Pete999]

Hmm. Need to change the title of this thread.

Is the thread new?
Not any more, it isn’t!

Are the jokes new?
Definitely no!

But I’m not one to complain. Where’s that Merlot??

NO not the Merlot!!

 

[Leesparkykent]

 

[123]

It seems that @Leesparkykent is on the happy pills tonight

 

[littlespark]

This is best I can come up with tonight...

Lord Nelson was known to be only 5 foot 8 inches tall...
His statue in London is 17 foot 4 inches

That’s Horatio of 3 to 1

 

[MFS Electrical]

View attachment 45413

An oldie but still a cracker

 

[Pete999]

View attachment 45418

She must have been hungry.

 

[littlespark]

I hear Rick Astley has a big collection of every Disney Pixar film on DVD.
He will loan them out on occasion, but only some of them.
You can get "Finding Dory".... He might give you "Monster's Inc"

But he's never gonna give you "Up"

 

[MDJ]

 

[telectrix]

I wandered lonely as a cloud
over hills and river banks
I trod upon a fat man's arse
and a woman's voice said "thanks"