Almost that time of year

[littlespark]

Lets see how i did....
Spoilers at the bottom, if you haven't watched it yet.... Look away now.



1. UK will come middle of the board. Not near the top, but not bottom either. Second bottom. X

2. There will be a stage invasion/ demonstration by Just Stop Oil, Extinction Rebellion or The Flat Earth Society Nothing that i noticed X

3. The half time show will be hotbed of Liverpudlian talent… including Mel C, Paul McCartney, John Bishop, Sonia, and would have included Lily Savage if it wasn’t for Paul O’Gradys passing. Sonia, 1 out of 5... and Paul O Grady does appear in the BBC's adverts for the programme X

4. The programme will mess up somehow…. Wrong camera, wrong microphone or wrong name of presenter. Again, nothing i noticed X

5. Croatia try to be political and anti war, but end up in the news after not getting through the semi finals and starting a fight in a local pub. Did get through, and no bar fight. X

6. Mae Muller, the UK entry goes way overboard with the stage production. Pyrotechnics, lasers, projections… just because she’s up last, and the BBC are using up their budget. Nothing like that, but she did have trouble with a staircase... had to look at her feet to walk down it

7. BBC mess up again when the VT operator mixes up Latvian and Lucian and plays a short interview with some guy and his collection of vintage electrical equipment. X

8. One country is disqualified when it is revealed their entry was written entirely by AI. X, although you could be mistaken for thinking some of them were....

9. One performer will finish their song and say “thank you, London!” X... Someone (important) being interviewed beforehand did say 'England" was hosting.... should have said "UK"

10. The neighbourly voting that always causes controversy finally pushes graham Norton over the edge and he has a massive hissy fit. X... although the usual greece/cyprus relationship wasn't there last night.




Ex winner from 2012, Loreen, won with the Finnish troll in second place.

Opening act shown Kate Middleton playing piano along to last years winners.

Some guy in audience waving the wrong "Po" around during Austria's performance.... (Tellytubby, not Edgar Allen)

Moldova's flute playing dwarf..... We sat trying to be politically correct in his description... avoiding the M word.... then my daughter says "he's only 50% loaded"....... I didnt teach her that!

The half time show had ex competitors singing songs linked to liverpool.... Including Dadi from Iceland singing Atomic Kitten's Whole Again.... (tedious link.... one of the Kittens is from liverpool and once entered for the UK in a previous girl group).... Israel's Netta doing Dead or Alive (Pete Burns was from liverpool) wearing inflatable Manga angel wings? Possibly?... and some woman splashing around in a paddling pool....Pool! oh... now i get it...

Then the "headliner" Sonia..... who came second in '93 to Ireland.



A cynic might suggest that Ukraine won last year, purely because of the war, and nothing to do with the song.
They might further suggest that the only reason UK came second, after years of abysmal scores, is because the 'fixers' knew Ukraine couldn't host and whoever came second would be highly likely to volunteer to host on their behalf... Who better than one of the Big Five money countries.

Next years host country will be Sweden, in the 50th anniversary year of ABBA winning with Waterloo. Also Swedish..... Its too much of a coincidence.... I predict the half time show next year will be mostly made up of ABBA's virtual concert

 

[littlespark]

Eurovision final 2024 is on 11th of May, and same day as the new series of (Disney) doctor who starts… so that’s a night of sitting in front of the telly…. And possibly behind the sofa…

Not for the Daleks, for the Finnish entry!


So what have we got to look forward to this year?

The UK bucks the trend of normally having a relative nobody, so this year we’ve got Olly Alexander from Years And Years who has had pretty good pop tunes in recent years, and this one won’t be any different.
“Dizzy” sounds exactly what you would expect from Olly, and the opening notes are very reminiscent of “It’s A Sin” from the Pet Shop Boys.
The Uk is on last, so might do well.

Bonkers entry goes to “euro papa” from Joost Klein of The Netherlands. Think 90’s techno from Scooter, 80’s “rock me Amadeus” and a little bit of happy hardcore.

Swiss entry looks just like a clone of olly Alexander, but sounds different with a hint of operatic vocals

Aforementioned Finnish entry is called “no rules” performed by a duo led by “windows 95 man” who has already had his video for the song blurred to hide the windows logo on his t shirt on request from Microsoft

Daftest artist name goes to Baby Lasagna from Croatia, but the song “Rim Tim Tagi Dim” is fun.

There’s the usual slow ballads that might do well, a few rocky songs. Will have to wait and see if Israel gets to participate or not.


I’ll post my usual top ten predictions closer to the time.

 

[littlespark]

I’ve held back posting a Top Ten Predictions list in case Israel suddenly pulls out… so instead, ive collated all the possible outcomes about Israel into number 1….


1. Israel pulls out and does not attend. OR… Israel attends, but can’t perform because of protestors, demonstrations, crowd trouble…. OR…. A credible bomb threat is taken so seriously, the entire competition is cancelled. (Noooooooo!!!)

2. The UK does surprisingly well with Olly Alexander. Top 3. That changes the future of UK entries and will then only consist of established chart acts.

3. One of the presenters, Petra Mede, sings a song even better than the last time she presented with Mans Zermalow (love,love, peace, peace…. Look it up)

4. Wardrobe malfunction: Finlands Windows’95 Man..(yes, that’s his name) did a pre competition performance in flesh coloured underpants… with props and dancers shielding his modesty.
I predict he will do the same, but fully naked from the waist down…. And the dancers don’t do their job so well.

5. Joost Klien… from the Netherlands… is disqualified for not being a unique or original song…. Then gets sued by every early 90’s euro pop dance producers for copying …. Led by the kings of cliched catchphrases, Scooter.
(Probably not)

6. Half of Ireland turn off the show when they suddenly realise their entry is not a Johnny Logan clone, or even Jedward.
(It’s a little angry goth called Bambie Thug)

7. First place will go to Croatia. Baby Lasagna. Silly name, but very catchy. “Rim Tim Tagi Dim” will have you singing…. And dancing… along with almost the entire population of Croatia. Look out for that video soon.

8. Graham Norton will lose it at some point. Hopefully by laughing so much he can’t speak…. (Rather than an angry hissy fit)

9. Kaleen from Austria also has a song that sounds like every other dance hit from the 90’s… (the ones that Joost doesn’t sound like)
Called “We Will Rave”….. says it all really….
And not a big fish, little fish, cardboard box in sight.

10. Nemo from Switzerland gets mixed up with Olly from UK and vice versa at various press conferences before and after the gig. Being asked about the wrong song, wrong results etc.


Being in Sweden this year, and 50 years since ABBA won, don’t be surprised if the interval act is a bunch of past Swedish entries singing a medley of ABBA songs…. Finishing with “thank you for the music”

That, or a very huge part of their ABBA Voyage virtual artist concerts, actually in the stadium, with all 4 of real Abba making an appearance



Ok, will see how these go after the 11th of May.
I’ll post some links to videos soon.

 

[littlespark]

We’ve been watching the rehearsals for next weeks contest on YouTube.….
Sorry… my daughter has been watching, and I’ve just been in the room at the same time.

Anyway… the chances of the UK doing well is diminishing very fast now after seeing the staging.

Yes, I know Eurovision is camper than a row of tents, but… we've got Olly Alexander, 4 almost naked dancers, and a stage that looks like a public toilet….. a grotty one.



I’m backing baby lasagna

 

[littlespark]

A short review of last nights first semi final… 15 participants… 10 got through to Saturday and we had performances from UK, Germany and Sweden, who have all already qualified.

1. Cyprus. “Liar” Average start for the night. Catchy enough song… nothing special. Got through.

2. Serbia. “Ramonda” Little mermaid, sitting on a rock.. bit boring. Also got through surprisingly.

3. Lithuania. “Luktelk” Strange hooded dancers. Got through.

4. Ireland. “Doomsday Blue”. WTAF?? Not a song, more like casting a spell. Summoning the spirit of Ireland past…. Johnny Logan… got through… I don’t know how

5. Ukraine. “Teresa and Maria”. Pride rock from lion king?? Another average one. Got through

6. Poland. “The Tower” Very good chess based staging… unfortunately didn’t get through

7. Croatia. “Rim Tim Tagi Dim” Bookies favourite. My favourite so far. Got through… of course it did

8. Iceland. “Scared of heights”. Boring. Not like Iceland’s previous years. (Dado, Hitari, etc) Didn’t qualify.

9. Slovenia. “Veronica”. Not wearing very much. Still got through.

10. Finland. “No Rules!”… The comedy of this year. Dancing around in flesh coloured pants, with strategically placed props. Got through

11. Moldova. “In The Middle”. Another boring slow clap clap song. Not through.

12. Azerbaijan. “Ozunia Apar” Boring again. Nothing special…. Apart from big hands appearing on stage. Not through

13. Australia. “One Milkali” Aboriginal language, didgeridoo… surprised it didn’t get through.

14. Portugal. “Grito” Boring. Dancers looked like they had fencing masks on. Got through though.

15. Luxembourg.”Fighter”. First time back in competition for 31 years.. not bad. Got through..



So the themes this year seem to be into the following categories….

Single singer on stage… doesn’t move

Single singer with 4 dancers… can’t stand still

Single singer, 4 dancers… not many clothes.

Rock sound with band not playing the instruments they are holding

Ethnic sounds from country of origin

Comedy act.

Giant stage props. Ie chess pieces, fake rocks, denim egg!

Witchcraft! (See Ireland)



Let’s see what Thursday night brings…

 

[littlespark]

Review of Thursday night's second semi finals... 16 entrants, 10 to get through.... So 10 from tuesday, 10 from thirsday, plus the Big 5, and the winner from last year... So that's 26 total for Saturday night.

1. Malta. "Loop". Forgettable song. Dancing included singer being blindfolded and flipped over. Got through
2. Albania. "Titan". Nothing special.... cant even remember it now. Was put out.

3. Greece. "Zari". Also put out. Pretty boring

4. "Switzerland." The Code" Very good. One of the favourites. Got through, of course

5. Czechia. "Pedestal" AKA Czech Republic... Quite catchy... but didn't get through

6. Austria. "We Will Rave" Sounds a lot like 2 Unlimited... Got through

7. Denmark. "Sand".... Involved choreography with a lot of sand.... Looked like Let It Go from Frozen... but with sand... Not through

8. Armenia. "Jako" Sounds like a drinking song... Got through

9. Latvia "Holow". Sounds like Rag 'n' Bone Man.... Got through

10. San Marino "11.11"... Mad. A lot of pink, a lot of black.. a lot of furry costumes. Didnt get through.

11. Georgia "Firefighter" Seen similar from other years... Making full use of the pyrotechnics. O. K, but didnt get through.

12. Belgium "Before the party is over" Shouty shouty bloke... nothing special. Not through

13. Estonia "title too long to type here" Eccentric cross between a hip hop duo and something called Zombie Folk... according to commentator Rylan. Got through.... somehow

14. Israel "Hurricane" Boring song, but got through. Crowd microphones were muted during the performance... cheers added.

15. Norway "Ulveham" Shouty rock music... but got through, being Norway

16. Netherlands "Europapa" Always said it sounded like old techno music... one of the writers is Paul Elstak (look him up... Song "Luv you more"... A bit like when Darude entered a couple of years ago.... Got through


Apparently, The Netherlands produced a Palestine flag on stage during the performance... haven't turned up for rehearsals today... and speculation they have been disqualified.... Drama in Malmao