Things an Electrician would never say

[MarkieSparkie]

Your little Billy's new green and yellow skipping rope seems to have created a new trend in town all the kids are now getting them. How clever of you to think of cutting off the main bonding conductor that was clashing with your new decorating scheme Sir.

 

[Kamikaze]

Thank you for your quote request. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first 10 words and £1.99 for each additional word in our reply.
Yours sincerely,
We have the shirts off your back electrical services

 

[Vegelen]

I just need to temporarily increase the resistance in this 240V circuit.

If you could take hold of the brown wire with your left hand and the blue wire with your right,

I'll temporarily turn this circuit on.

You might experience a brief sensation.

Dont worry it wont affect your pacemaker, everything will be fine.

 

[James Dalby]

The plumbers done a fantastic job of wiring that shower up!

 

[Swicade]

I've given up tea and coffee while on site so i'll have to decline that cuppa

 

[dcelectrical]

no no i know i quoted your job 18 months, i can get the 4 guys there for 8am tomorrow to start your rewire, don't worry we will move all the furniture and i think i can knock around 30 per cent off the quote, no the grandkids and your two little yappy dogs shouldnt get in the way

 

[Paul.M]

I think we should have a 3000+ forum...... Only joking Dan :rofl:

 

[bigbaddave]

Due to the condition of your wiring I have had to remove your RCD, Dont worry though they were only manufactured so that they could create a new edition of the wiring regulations. If you are still receiving shocks from that light fitting can you call me once your cheque has cleared.

Yours Sincerely
Fuse it and run Electrical Services

 

[cogsey133]

The only bonding you need to do is with H69!

 

[tidyboiler]

I promise I will be there tomorrow at 9.am or I will give you my van and all it's contents.

 

[Elmer BeFuddled]

Me to customer "Me? Monday morning blues? Nah! Never! Of course I'm glad the plumber maintained the integrity of your joists by using my holes for the radiators flexi pipes and in the process wedged the cables so tightly in the holes any heat transferred to the cables will not give them the chance to sag onto your ceiling boards."

 

[telectrix]

of course you can buy your own CU from b&q for £55 and i'll fit it for the same price as they quote, £499+VAT, less the £55. get in there.

 

[Paul.M]

I want to be an orange shed cu fitter. It sounds so easy the way they do it!

 

[happyhippy68]

10kw shower, no problem on the existing 4 mm supply buried under 200mm of insulation.

 

[Paul.M]

10kw shower, no problem on the existing 4 mm supply buried under 200mm of insulation.

..... on a 40A mcb, no RCD, not a problem.

 

[happyhippy68]

..... on a 40A mcb, no RCD, not a problem.

.......We have always done it that way!! Never had any problems before!

 

[SPARTYKUS]

Just had a builder on the phone, asking me why a light his dad has wired won't switch off, kept me on the phone ages while I explained over & over again how futile it was & how he needs a....SPARKY to look at it. Then 10 mins later talking through another job he said "its not rocket science ay' it" so I said


You'll be alright with that light you cant fix then

 

[markc123]

I don't believe in earthing, so i refuse to connect them.

 

[Elmer BeFuddled]

Bell wire is so much easier to work with in a 3 plate lighting set up. Glad you suggested that

 

[Elmer BeFuddled]

It was only the fuse. Buy us a pint next time you see me.