The world is doomed.

[GMES]

The title is probably more spectacular than the thread.

So I've just been to McDonald drive through for me and Mrs Ape, I place my order which mine was chicken legend no sauce, the options were mayo-spicy- barbeque
Didn't fancy any so had plain.
Get to the window to pay and I'm greeted by a nervous looking guy in his late 30's, he was obviously new to the role.

Him .. Big Mac meal and chicken mayo legend

Me Big Mac yes but no to mayo legend I ordered chicken legend plain

Him it says on screen chicken mayo no mayo

Me what

Me chicken legend plain

Him that's what I said chicken mayo legend no mayo

Me wtf well doesn't that make it just a chicken legend

Him. What

Me well if it's got no mayo then it's not a mayo legend it's just a chicken legend.

Him, Sorry I don't get you.

Me how can it be a chicken MAYO legend without mayo.

Him it says on the screen chicken mayo without mayo so that's what it is.

Me can I just pay because you're starting making my eyes twitch.

Him yes sir have a nice day

Me I'm sure mine will be better than yours.

Apologies to all the cars behind me.

I cannot believe they can get that amount of stupidity in one pre fab building.

Any of you lads got any similar stories.

 

[MFS Electrical]

I once had a nearly identical sandwich buy in a sarny shop.

Me I'll have a bacon salad please.
Her A what ?
Me A bacon salad please
Her We don't do a bacon salad, you mean a BLT.
Me No I mean a bacon salad. You do salad and you do bacon, I just want both in a sandwich please
Her No no no, you mean a BLT (her face says "I'm the sandwich expert round here than you very much")
Me So what does a BLT have in it then ?
Her Bacon, lettuce, tomato
Me Ok, so get me a BLT with cucumber, onion, boiled egg and mayo please

She gives me a look like I'm Neo breaking the f**king matrix or something and at the same time her head is imploding trying to comprehend what just happened.

You're right, we are doomed.

Wasn’t subway by any chance was it?

 

[Andy78]

Wasn’t subway by any chance was it?

No just a small independent sandwich shop. In subway I'd have been happy just being grunted at to recognise my presence.

 

[MFS Electrical]

I once had a nearly identical sandwich buy in a sarny shop.

Me I'll have a bacon salad please.
Her A what ?
Me A bacon salad please
Her We don't do a bacon salad, you mean a BLT.
Me No I mean a bacon salad. You do salad and you do bacon, I just want both in a sandwich please
Her No no no, you mean a BLT (her face says "I'm the sandwich expert round here than you very much")
Me So what does a BLT have in it then ?
Her Bacon, lettuce, tomato
Me Ok, so get me a BLT with cucumber, onion, boiled egg and mayo please

She gives me a look like I'm Neo breaking the f**king matrix or something and at the same time her head is imploding trying to comprehend what just happened.

You're right, we are doomed.

Wasn’t subway by any chance was it?

No just a small independent sandwich shop. In subway I'd have been happy just being grunted at to recognise my presence.

one of the subways round here is a total dive they never have anything, it’s always just ran out, they always put the wrong thing on your sandwich even after asking twice and the cookies are always stale

 

[Squid]

Did this happen twice and that's why you posted it twice??
(post #16 & #19)

 

[Squid]

I once had a nearly identical sandwich buy in a sarny shop.

Me I'll have a bacon salad please.
Her A what ?
Me A bacon salad please
Her We don't do a bacon salad, you mean a BLT.
Me No I mean a bacon salad. You do salad and you do bacon, I just want both in a sandwich please
Her No no no, you mean a BLT (her face says "I'm the sandwich expert round here than you very much")
Me So what does a BLT have in it then ?
Her Bacon, lettuce, tomato
Me Ok, so get me a BLT with cucumber, onion, boiled egg and mayo please

She gives me a look like I'm Neo breaking the f**king matrix or something and at the same time her head is imploding trying to comprehend what just happened.

You're right, we are doomed.

A boiled egg in a sandwich FFS......

 

[Midwest]

Me & a mate frequented a particular Chinese takeaway in Windsor, 'cos they did a good special; sweet & sour chicken balls & beef & black bean, with a little bit of chilli & fried rice. It was sold as MB. Recommended to us it was.

First time we went into the takeaway, Chinese lady serving.

I said 'Can I have an MB please'.

You want MB 1 (i.e. for one)

My mate, 'Can I have MB 1'

You want MB too.

No I want MB1.

I gave you MB.

My mate, 'but I want MB1'

I gave you MB, sweet & chicken, beef black bean. Why u no Nissan!

 

[Pete999]

Have to visit Hospital in Oxford every year and on the way home I stop at the services junction 9 M40 and end up in Burger King, got a thing for the Whopper with Cheese.
My Mrs was with me last time and I ordered Whopper with Cheese, large Fries and a Coke Mrs went for the Chicken Royal, after taking out a bank loan to pay, by card, with me so far? paid up grub on a tray Oh got any chili sauce please ? yes that will be 20 pence and when you think of all the Ketchup sachets left on the tables, makes you wonder why they would charge 20p for a chili sauce, I had no cash, and the woman behind let rip at the post Graduate behind the counter, made me blush I can tell you.

 

[Toneyz]

Have to visit Hospital in Oxford every year and on the way home I stop at the services junction 9 M40 and end up in Burger King, got a thing for the Whopper with Cheese.
My Mrs was with me last time and I ordered Whopper with Cheese, large Fries and a Coke Mrs went for the Chicken Royal, after taking out a bank loan to pay, by card, with me so far? paid up grub on a tray Oh got any chili sauce please ? yes that will be 20 pence and when you think of all the Ketchup sachets left on the tables, makes you wonder why they would charge 20p for a chili sauce, I had no cash, and the woman behind let rip at the post Graduate behind the counter, made me blush I can tell you.

I take it because of the postgraduate let you off the 20p I bet they collect the unused ketchup sachets all up again and resell them. I think I've stopped at that Burger King at that services your right it is expensive there.

 

[Pete999]

I take it because of the postgraduate let you off the 20p I bet they collect the unused ketchup sachets all up again and resell them. I think I've stopped at that Burger King at that services your right it is expensive there.

No he didn't thought about telling to shove his sauce where the Sun don't shine, so I walked away.

 

[GMES]

All service station food places are expensive.
We recently stopped at the one where the m18 meets the m180 and also had burger king.
Me our lass and granddaughter.
3 burger meals a couple of sides and it came to £32.00
It must be more expensive to warm food up on a motorway

 

[Toneyz]

All service station food places are expensive.
We recently stopped at the one where the m18 meets the m180 and also had burger king.
Me our lass and granddaughter.
3 burger meals a couple of sides and it came to £32.00
It must be more expensive to warm food up on a motorway

I think it's because they have to stay open 24hrs.

 

[GMES]

I think it's because they have to stay open 24hrs.

I thought all fast food joints stayed open 24 hrs regardless of where they are.
The ones round me are.

 

[Edtwozeronine]

Having worked in a Domines the way the on screen version of an item is titled often didn't match the customer facing menu, this is probably where confusion reigned. The system often said such things as Texas BBQ minus X plus X, X normally being a code letter for a specific topping or lack of topping.

 

[Toneyz]

I thought all fast food joints stayed open 24 hrs regardless of where they are.
The ones round me are.

The word there is have to whereas the ones around you do it through commercial merits. If not the service station has to provide facilities 24hrs and the costs have to cover the peak and troughs.

 

[GMES]

The word there is have to whereas the ones around you do it through commercial merits. If not the service station has to provide facilities 24hrs and the costs have to cover the peak and troughs.

Can I have the first part in English please mate

 

[Silly Sausage]

Can I have the first part in English please mate

There's a severe shortage of commas going on there
UK motorway services are over-priced garbage, with one exception, Tebay.

 

[Moley]

Ah, Tebay. I always call in there if I'm heading to Scotland. They sell some lovely pies. No Wimpy though

 

[Santa]

My favourite, and this was before most of you were born, was going with my father, who was running a pub at the time, to buy a gross of bread rolls for the turkey sandwiches we were doing at Christmas.

The rolls were 1d (one old penny) each and the girl counted out twelve sets of twelve rolls into a tray. Then she had to work out how much...

Now, since there were 12d in a shilling and we had 12 x 12 rolls, this should have been easy, but she had a new-fangled till that added up for her. We stood patiently, with a growing queue behind us, as she rang them all up one by one; losing count at least twice.

When she finally looked up and told us how much, she looked surprised to see that father had a ten-bob-note and a florin in his hand already.

Stupidity is not a modern phenomenon.

 

[pirate]

" a ten-bob note and a florin"...brilliant!
maybe 4 half-crowns and 4 tanners, or 12 bob...

Personally, I think inflation started when the 10 bob note was discontinued, but I'm sure it was a retrograde step, whatever...

 

[Silly Sausage]

" a ten-bob note and a florin"...brilliant!
maybe 4 half-crowns and 4 tanners, or 12 bob...

Personally, I think inflation started when the 10 bob note was discontinued, but I'm sure it was a retrograde step, whatever...

The last 10 bob note I used was a Saturday dinner time, me Mam sent me out for fish & chips 4 times and bring the change home. You'd need a fifty now to get any change.

 

[Midwest]

I used to get a ten bob note, as pocket money from my Grandad on a Saturday.

 

[EbolaSideRoom]

There is one in Amersham....... knickerbocker glories I remember.......

Ooooh you’ve got me all misty-eyed....
Knickerbocker Glory, Brown Derby, Banana Split...
Sod the burgers. The iced treats is what I went for.

 

[Dave OCD]

The last 10 bob note I used was a Saturday dinner time, me Mam sent me out for fish & chips 4 times and bring the change home. You'd need a fifty now to get any change.

She didn't think that through very well Archy, would've been much easier just to order the 4 portions in the one visit.

 

[Silly Sausage]

She didn't think that through very well Archy, would've been much easier just to order the 4 portions in the one visit.

I'm going to take out my revenge on Buzz now!

 

[Spoon]

The last 10 bob note I used was a Saturday dinner time, me Mam sent me out for fish & chips 4 times and bring the change home. You'd need a fifty now to get any change.

You must be going to the wrong place... We had chippy tea on Friday. £16....

 

[Diddy]

Popped into a McD's centre of Glasgow prob about 10-15 years ago. My and my brother -
Simple order
Me - two cheeseburgers two drinks to go, please
Employee - Tills are down sir
Me - Oh dear but I see you have piles of hot steaming food over there behind you...in fact some of the staff are eating and drinking some of the "goodies" cant I just get what I ordered and I will pay and leave
Employee - Tills are down sir
Me - Do you want me to work out the total cost for you as the tills are down
Employee - Tills are down sir
Me - Look I have counted out the exact cash just gimmie the food and drink and you can shove this in the till when it becomes unbroken
Employee - Tills are down sir
Me - Can I have a quick chat with a manager ...............The manager appears from out of thin air
Manager -Tills are down sir.....
Me- But, But, But
I eventually turn to brother and say oh look KFC just across the road so we can still eat some horrid food and drink our year's supply of sugar in 5 mins flat....Off we went.
The whole thing was surreal, Not just the fact that they would not sell anything because of the tills being down but the fact that not one of them said any other word apart from parroting "Tills are down sir" this even included the manager apart from adding "it's company policy, sir".

 

[Midwest]

You should of taken an Uzi.
https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?img...JLfAhUKShUIHQB3BGsQMwhrKAEwAQ&iact=mrc&uact=8

 

[Spoon]

The whole thing was surreal, Not just the fact that they would not sell anything because of the tills being down but the fact that not one of them said any other word apart from parroting "Tills are down sir" this even included the manager apart from adding "it's company policy, sir".

Not always the employees fault. I bet someone questioned it and the manager came out with your last sentence.... Sometimes it's not worth the hassle of discussing things with a thick manager...

 

[telectrix]

 

[a-z electrics]

I remember many years ago going to a Wimpy (yes, that long ago) in Exeter and ordered a burger and chips. I sat down to an empty bread roll and chips. How could they forget to put the burger in??

They didn't.. you just needed magnifying glass