Things an Electrician would never say

[hughesy]

i totally agree that you didnt connect that nice shiny new mk socket causing the fuse to blow, and i can tell its been in for 30 years.

i know that cable wasnt in the wall when you put that picture up it must of moved.

no i wouldnt like cash please can i have a cheque.

 

[hughesy]

no i dont have a torch or headlamp so we will have to leave it till morning when the sun comes up

 

[Doorman]

You don't need the yellow and black cable look at your hairdryer and light plugs just cut it off..

 

[RexT]

Hi Guys,

How about;

'You want to convert all your house to Solar power, Wind power and tidal power?
Yes no problem.
You also want me to guarantee it will be sunny and windy all day and night?
Yes no problem.
You also want me to fit it in half a day and charge you £20 a week on a finance deal?
Yes no problem.
You want me to work without a cup of tea and a biscuit?
Hang on thats where I draw the line......


Best wishes

Rex

 

[Dec]

Genius idea for a thread!

 

[Dec]

New game in the style off mock of the week. Things that an electrician would never say to a customer, gaffer or other tradesmen/person.

Quality idea

 

[Marvo]

I wouldn't have installed it that way sir but look....if the plumber says that 2,5mm cable spurred off the upstairs lighting supply is okay for that 9kw shower..... then it's fine by me and of course I can replace that 10A MCB with a 50A.

 

[trev]

Me? with all my hard earned qualifications and years of experience? Of course that guy at the pub has identified your problem without the use of expensive test equipment and yes, he obviously knows so much more than me

 

[steve-the-hat]

Of course I'll have a quick look at your 30 year old, 160 lamp string of Christmas lights, to find out which bulb has blown.

 

[Kamikaze]

My mind works like electricity. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

 

[simpson93]

i dont belive in miracels, i rely on them

 

[Paul.M]

Of course I don't mind doing a call out at 8pm on our staff Xmas p up after doing a 12 hour shift driving 300 miles round trip, any time boss. (you can tell I'm not bitter about it)

 

[mackers]

How i wish i'd trained as a plumber instead!

 

[trev]

No problem sir, just so you can watch Jeremy Kyle of course I'll work live

 

[RexT]

Hi Guys,


Call out for blown fuse in house on 24/12/11 at 11.13pm.....
'You wonder what the smell of whiskey and a burnt turkey dinner is from?
That's Sam my apprentice, he's specially trained and has been certified by the local college.
He is just trying out your cooker doing a pat test, and your decanter for insulation resistance - dont worry it is now in Amendment one of the wiring regs and its all part of the service.
We will give you the paperwork as soon as we get home.
Oh by the way heres the invoice'
Happy New Year...

Best wishes

Rex

 

[cjm500]

"No of course I don't need to turn the power off while I change your consumer unit"

"Yes that's fine - you go to Pakistan for 6 weeks and just pay me for your rewire when you get back"

"All those extras you've asked for then moaned about the rewire being behind schedule? Of course they're not on the invoice, I did them all for free!"

"No of course it doesn't matter that you've boarded your loft, put a laminate floor down and a bed and a wardrobe - why would I need to go up there?"

"Course it's safe - it's always worked OK hasn't it?"

"Yes I'd love to certify off your DIY rewire. No of course it doesn't matter that you've wired the shower in 2.5 off a 32A breaker and tapped the cellar lights off the kitchen ring. Bonding? No - never heard of it. Paying me? Just get us a pint when you next see us"

 

[trev]

How about

Happy birthday darling wife. Of course you can watch your new Westlife dvd ALL BLOODY NIGHT!!!!!!

 

[Kamikaze]

I wonder if there is a prize for "Meltdown of the week"? :biggrin:

 

[Knobhead]

watch your new Westlife dvd ALL BLOODY NIGHT!!!!!!

It was me that got divorced for unreasonable behaviour mg_smile:

 

[kenny james]

i am a plasterer by trade