Things an Electrician would never say

[Kamikaze]

That's why they call me Mr. Flash!

 

[RexT]

Hi Guys,

How about:

'Yes it is a struggle, thanks for asking me to quote on adding your new socket. I have driven 50 miles miles to give this free quote and am really pleased to hear that you were just thinking about it and your nephew just wondered how much he should charge you'

'No it is really no bother. I am so chuffed that your payment policy is £1 per week over 20 years, interest free'

'Yes I advertise in Yellow Pages and have got more work than I can shake a stick at'

'I charge £15 an hour and just love paying for all the damage you are stiching me up with'

'I have fixed the dodgy light in your kitchen so I guess I must be responsible for all the other problems your house has before I arrived'

'Paper is a good insulator taht's why I have paper mached your sockets and lights'

'Why use the correct tool when a hammer and nail works as well - pity about the leak'

'Its the plumbers / carpet fitters / neighbours cat that has caused this and by god I am going to make a packet'

'Dont worry your insurance company dont mind cowboys, I give you a receipt when I get home. My address? Yes its the roundabout at Milton Keynes'

Best wishes

Rex

 

[Kamikaze]

So.... tell me about your electrical problem madam, only this time more slowly. :wink_smile:

 

[Robinwood]

Thats a great share !

 

[Paul.M]

Hi Guys,

How about:

'Yes it is a struggle, thanks for asking me to quote on adding your new socket. I have driven 50 miles miles to give this free quote and am really pleased to hear that you were just thinking about it and your nephew just wondered how much he should charge you'

'No it is really no bother. I am so chuffed that your payment policy is £1 per week over 20 years, interest free'

'Yes I advertise in Yellow Pages and have got more work than I can shake a stick at'

'I charge £15 an hour and just love paying for all the damage you are stiching me up with'

'I have fixed the dodgy light in your kitchen so I guess I must be responsible for all the other problems your house has before I arrived'

'Paper is a good insulator taht's why I have paper mached your sockets and lights'

'Why use the correct tool when a hammer and nail works as well - pity about the leak'

'Its the plumbers / carpet fitters / neighbours cat that has caused this and by god I am going to make a packet'

'Dont worry your insurance company dont mind cowboys, I give you a receipt when I get home. My address? Yes its the roundabout at Milton Keynes'

Best wishes

Rex

Rex I agree on sooooo many of your points.

 

[Paul.M]

Sorry, you've had a second opinion from your uncle that knows an electrician who lives next door to his wifes ante that knows some one that knows about electricity and I'm wrong?

 

[Burnt Fingers]

I agree. Its your land, its underground, why would it need an earth.

 

[dcelectrical]

Zao shang hao, wow i didn't realise you could tap into the mains down there power you home irrigation and ventilation system, but i must say those plants seem to have so many buds on them, and by the way can you smell something it's making me a little light headed

 

[dcelectrical]

great, your dad fitted this consumer unit, i can confirm it is fully compliant with BS7671, if he wants to give up being a forklift truck driver he would sail through his training, in fact i don't even think he should bother with all that college stuff.

 

[Kamikaze]

I always wanted to be an electrician. I don't know how long I could've been a vet for, before I got bored and started shagging stuff.

 

[RexT]

'You say you get a shock when you touch the cold tap and the hot together, but only if the fan is turned on and the radio has Chris Evans on it?
Well dont worry I can fix that, just listen to Radio 1 and by the way here is my bill.'
'I suppose you could be right, an original 1935 'screw in fuse board' and your grandfathers do it yourself wiring doesnt have to be changed because of your human rights also the 20 immigrant tenants havent complained'
Best wishes
rex

 

[catelec]

Yes Mrs customer, I always use B&Q for all my equipment and tools. Very good quality, staff give the best advice and always know what their on about.

I saw a recent vacancy at B&Q in Tamworth for an electrician to give 'professional' advice to customers!!

 

[Paul.M]

I saw a recent vacancy at B&Q in Tamworth for an electrician to give 'professional' advice to customers!!

Why send an electrician to do a plumbers job?

 

[telectrix]

i can do that job.my "professional advice" would be to give them my card.

 

[telectrix]

and on tea breaks i can nip next door to toys r us and test a few smoke generators.

 

[Paul.M]

and on tea breaks i can nip next door to toys r us and test a few smoke generators.

LOL. This week I'll be mainly putting up fancy garden lights, o/s sockets and power to a shed to feed a koi carp pond. Can I export pme? Think I'll start a thread .

 

[telectrix]

and fix a smoke machine alongside the koi pond, give a nice morning mist feel to it.

 

[jaresquire]

Smoke me a koi,I'll be back for breakfast

 

[telectrix]

koi kippers!

 

[nickblake]

Yes i can carry out and electrical condition report in every house in nottingham before lunch