Things an Electrician would never say

[grimysparks80]

Do these snickers make my bum look big?

 

[Ryan_Moore]

Customer: Would you like a cup of tea and a pointless chat about my house?
Spark: No thanks love I must crack on

 

[baldelectrician]

Customer: I've seen you somewhere before?
Me: Yep, I was on Rogue Traders

Gets a hearty laugh, or a nervous laugh- depending on how well they know of you

 

[telectrix]

of course i' ll do you a periodic for £50, sir. just keep an eye on my van. i've left the engine running.

 

[Ryan_Moore]

Spark: So you want this metal fence connected with the mains in the street, seems reasonable to me, should keep the cats out
Customer: It is not things getting IN I am trying to stop....


*cries of help from other tradesmen in the distance*

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"I mean if you REALLY want lights an sockets I can fit them, but I just don't see the point."

 

[oxocube]

"I've f***** up bigger jobs than this"

 

[truckster]

Nothing I can do that the fire brigade can't sort out......

 

[Paul.M]

Yes sir all my work comes with a 1 year grantee and a free fire extinguisher.

 

[RexT]

Hi guys,
How about:
'Great idea to use laminate flooring al over the house, it makes my job so much easier'
'Of course I have a spare wylex 2.7amp fuse / breaker in the van'
'Dont worry the smell of burning stops when the cables have bedded in'
'You don't need a certficate if the job is done after 6pm'
'Re wires normally take me and Mick a day, for a four bed detached house without using any trunking'
'I have got my own tools, its a pity I used to be a road sweeper'
'B&Q? Yep their little leaflets taught me every thing I need to know about electricds and brain surgery'
Best wishes
Rex

 

[RexT]

Hi telectrix,
Great, just brilliant!
Best wishes
Rex