Things an Electrician would never say

[tooleystreet]

I haven't got an account with them but I'll jump through hoops to get the model your paying for

 

[Kamikaze]

I can smell something burning, it seems to be coming from behind.

 

[Geordie Spark]

That's a very impressive collection you have in your knicker drawer madam.

 

[tidyboiler]

Erm, no thanks............... I'm married.

 

[Kamikaze]

I’m wondering if “millwall ken” is secretly still enjoying this thread.:biggrinjester:

 

[Guest111]

No mate I think the way you fitted your new brass ceiling lights is fine,I'm especially taken with your clever idea to connect the green and yellow wire to those spare reds,of course it's a much safer idea that connecting it to those bare copper ones with the dodgy bit of green and yellow sleeving on.

 

[Kamikaze]

All you have to remember young apprentice. With AC your teeth will chatter 50 times a second. With DC you just bite down.

 

[Kamikaze]

All provisional sums and estimates carry a small error of margin as I just pull them out of my backside.

 

[Kamikaze]

I think the clutch has gone in my butt because I can’t get my --- into gear!

 

[Maddison]

Ohh god i knew i should hav been a plumber

 

[Paul.M]

"Yep, I'll work on the same day rate as the decorator".

 

[ferg]

As it happens I've got nothing booked in for the next week or so. So of course I can start your rewire tomorrow.

Of course I don't mind if you don't want to pay for a couple of months I'm only doing this for fun anyway.

If you don't mind could you please watch over my shoulder while I'm fault finding and ask me daft questions every step of the way.

Can you please deny all knowledge of your DIY bodge that is causing the rcd to trip.. I love a challenge.

Don't bother clearing the loft if you want downlighters in all the rooms upstairs, I'll just get Harry Effing Potter to come and levitate all your shyte while I'm working.

 

[Leesparkykent]

As it happens I've got nothing booked in for the next week or so. So of course I can start your rewire tomorrow.

Of course I don't mind if you don't want to pay for a couple of months I'm only doing this for fun anyway.

If you don't mind could you please watch over my shoulder while I'm fault finding and ask me daft questions every step of the way.

Can you please deny all knowledge of your DIY bodge that is causing the rcd to trip.. I love a challenge.

Don't bother clearing the loft if you want downlighters in all the rooms upstairs, I'll just get Harry Effing Potter to come and levitate all your shyte while I'm working.

Haha spot on! I was pulling a 10mm in for a bond the other day and I had to take the bath panel off tie on to an old cable and try and pull the new 10mm up through an existing bit of chased in oval conduit. All the time I was huffing away leaning under the bath trying to pull the cable up something that was tighter than a ducks bottom the customer was laying down on the floor next to me watching every thing I was doing. I also had to take up some floor boards which the same customer offered to do so I went to give him my impact driver so he could whip them up quick but he insisted on getting his ratchet and extension bar out to wind each screw out by hand!

 

[Kamikaze]

I dressed up for “Electric Dreams”. I dressed up for “Pulse”. I’m definitely dressing up for “50 Shades of grey”.

 

[Scotford14]

That will be a full rewire.

As you see by the colour of the cables they are beginning to rust!

 

[Kamikaze]

You know that warm lovely tingly feeling when you get an electric shock. That’s the common sense leaving the body?:yes:

 

[Kamikaze]

You know that warm lovely tingly feeling when you get an electric shock. That’s the common sense leaving the body?:yes:

 

[R G]

No Mrs ----- I never have a problem with electric shock, the only shock thats gonna happen is when you gotta pay me ....

 

[PEG]

...Only just noticed this thread...so i'll have a go...how about;

"These VW transporters are just NOT worth the money"...

or "To be honest love,your installation ,although from the 60's,is perfectly acceptable"...

...me names PEG,and i'm here all week...:yes:

 

[Kamikaze]

Anyways, back on topic as per the rules.:biggrinjester:
Your plumber madam, couldn’t direct his own pi$$ into a pot.