How to Make a Fool of Yourself!!!

[Paul.M]

Yesterday was a good mates birthday and we all went out for a few light refreshments :54:

Boys will be boys and we had a few too many :17:

One of the pool tables had a sign on it "Out of order". Knowing that most pool tables have a dead mans switch underneath, I decided to investigate and low and behold, there is a 78mm hole. Got on my back and slid under the table, put my hand up the hole and had a feel around for the lever to release the balls. Could not quite reach so gave it up as a bad job. :sad3:

Hang fire! I cant get my bloody hand out of the hole!!!! My watch is completely stuck!!!! Tried everything but with no success, lads are now taking the mick but then notice that I was absolutely stuck and started to worry about me lol. Well there were 3-4 lads on their backs under the pool table trying all sorts of different things to pull my arm out, what a sight that must have been. Some of them have taken pictures and I'm sure I wont live this one down for a long time.

The doormen are now involved :willy_nilly: and have asked the bar staff to call out the pool table engineer to get me free!!!! After 10 minuets of being on my back with my arm stuck up a pool table I though enough is enough and just pulled as hard as I could, loads of pain later but I was FREE unk:. Mrs M not impressed for my actions but the lads gave me a good round of applause. Pool table chap got cancelled and I spent the rest of the night with egg on my face, didn't get thrown out though, doormen and staff thought it was hilarious :rofl:

Well there is my story of doing something daft yet again whilst "drinking responsibly". What have you guys done? But keep it clean please lol.



ps, the first person to get hold of a photo from last nights exploits and post it up will be banned for a month, you know who you are?

 

[ian.settle1]

Go on post them up give us all a good laugh

 

[Paul.M]

Go on post them up give us all a good laugh

NO........

 

[telectrix]

post them! or else the pain you had last night will be nothing compared to having all your pubic hairs pulled out one by one.:ack2:

 

[Des 56]

You must drink in a posh pub

In locals around my way that situation would have instantly progressed with your lower body clothing given a thorough wash down in the bogs and the removal washing and photography be administered by the female part of the congregation

If the photos do appear on a forum,I say you have gotten off lightly lol

 

[Paul.M]

You must drink in a posh pub

In locals around my way that situation would have instantly progressed with your lower body clothing given a thorough wash down in the bogs and the removal washing and photography be administered by the female part of the congregation

If the photos do appear on a forum,I say you have gotten off lightly lol

Student part of town btw, people that go to the cricket and rugby games will know the place.

Mick taking turned into concern very quickly. The lads know I can get out of trouble easily but I was proper stuck. They almost ripped off the top of the table to get to my hand :rofl: We repaired it before we left!

So come then, what have you lot done whilst tipsy???

 

[telectrix]

Student part of town btw, people that go to the cricket and rugby games will know the place.

Mick taking turned into concern very quickly. The lads know I can get out of trouble easily but I was proper stuck. They almost ripped off the top of the table to get to my hand :rofl: We repaired it before we left!

So come then, what have you lot done whilst tipsy???

i got married! that beats your escapade. I was paying for that mistake for years.

 

[Leesparkykent]

i got married! that beats your escapade. I was paying for that mistake for years.

Haha, oops I'm getting married in 4 weeks time.

 

[Des 56]

Me personally,I have had a boring life in that way, one of my mates not so

We were staggering home from a night out in another town when he pulls out his todger and did what beer filled filled drunks sometimes do
While in full flow,the police come up the road in a patrol car
Not wanting to get booked he hopped over the small wall off the road
the other side was a 10 to 20 foot drop
We swapped the police concern for an ambulance to take him to fix a broken leg and foot,he had jumped down onto the railway siding

 

[ian.settle1]

Haha, oops I'm getting married in 4 weeks time.

That's right

Why should you stay single and be happy, get married and be miserable like the rest of us

 

[Kamikaze]

Student part of town btw, people that go to the cricket and rugby games will know the place.

Mick taking turned into concern very quickly. The lads know I can get out of trouble easily but I was proper stuck. They almost ripped off the top of the table to get to my hand :rofl: We repaired it before we left!

So come then, what have you lot done whilst tipsy???

I lost a car once because I got drunk and couldn’t remember where I parked it. That mark 2 Escort would be worth a fortune now….lol.

 

[R G]

Consider yourself lucky , what if there was a live connector block in place of the missing switch and you touched it and couldn't get you're hand out .....

 

[shanky887614]

Yesterday was a good mates birthday and we all went out for a few light refreshments :54:

Boys will be boys and we had a few too many :17:

One of the pool tables had a sign on it "Out of order". Knowing that most pool tables have a dead mans switch underneath, I decided to investigate and low and behold, there is a 78mm hole. Got on my back and slid under the table, put my hand up the hole and had a feel around for the lever to release the balls. Could not quite reach so gave it up as a bad job. :sad3:

Hang fire! I cant get my bloody hand out of the hole!!!! My watch is completely stuck!!!! Tried everything but with no success, lads are now taking the mick but then notice that I was absolutely stuck and started to worry about me lol. Well there were 3-4 lads on their backs under the pool table trying all sorts of different things to pull my arm out, what a sight that must have been. Some of them have taken pictures and I'm sure I wont live this one down for a long time.

The doormen are now involved :willy_nilly: and have asked the bar staff to call out the pool table engineer to get me free!!!! After 10 minuets of being on my back with my arm stuck up a pool table I though enough is enough and just pulled as hard as I could, loads of pain later but I was FREE [emoji14]unk:. Mrs M not impressed for my actions but the lads gave me a good round of applause. Pool table chap got cancelled and I spent the rest of the night with egg on my face, didn't get thrown out though, doormen and staff thought it was hilarious :rofl:

Well there is my story of doing something daft yet again whilst "drinking responsibly". What have you guys done? But keep it clean please lol.



ps, the first person to get hold of a photo from last nights exploits and post it up will be banned for a month, you know who you are?

send me it via pm and ill upload im not afraid and it will go up on the other side as well

 

[Plonker 3]

I lost a car once because I got drunk and couldn’t remember where I parked it. That mark 2 Escort would be worth a fortune now….lol.

I have driven to the pub a few times in my youth, woke up and realised someone has kindly brought it home for me and parked it outside my house all over the pavement on more than occasion. Cant say I am proud of doing it now though.

 

[shanky887614]

Student part of town btw, people that go to the cricket and rugby games will know the place.

Mick taking turned into concern very quickly. The lads know I can get out of trouble easily but I was proper stuck. They almost ripped off the top of the table to get to my hand :rofl: We repaired it before we left!

So come then, what have you lot done whilst tipsy???

had a couple too many and fell down backwards like a sack of grain, got dragged into a taxi and walked in the front door 3 hours later

 

[Kamikaze]

I have driven to the pub a few times in my youth, woke up and realised someone has kindly brought it home for me and parked it outside my house all over the pavement on more than occasion. Cant say I am proud of doing it now though.

I’ve got a mate that arrived at the pub around 10 o’clock and didn’t notice the police car in the pub car park. They watched him go in and an hour later watched him come out. Just as he was inserting the key into the ignition there was a tap on the window. He knew he was busted because he had a few. Anyway, the nice man politely asked him to step into the police car for a word. While in there they asked him where he lived? He told them, and one took his car key and drove his car back to his house while the other gave him a lift back home. You just don’t get this kind of public service out of them anymore...lol. Lucky bar-steward!

 

[shanky887614]

I’ve got a mate that arrived at the pub around 10 o’clock and didn’t notice the police car in the pub car park. They watched him go in and an hour later watched him come out. Just as he was inserting the key into the ignition there was a tap on the window. He knew he was busted because he had a few. Anyway, the nice man politely asked him to step into the police car for a word. While in there they asked him where he lived? He told them, and one took his car key and drove his car back to his house while the other gave him a lift back home. You just don’t get this kind of public service out of them anymore...lol. Lucky bar-steward!

from some you do, some are just pricks though but thats not unique to the police just you cant do a lot about them

 

[Paul.M]

Consider yourself lucky , what if there was a live connector block in place of the missing switch and you touched it and couldn't get you're hand out .....

Floor socket and I could see the plug top sticking out of the hole. I was'nt that drunk lol. First rule of inspecting, use your eyes first.



My best friend (RIP Rob) were on holiday in the USA. Couple of nights in New Orleans (before Katrina), we were on Bourbon Street a couple of weeks before mardi gras. People on the iron balcony's throw down beaded necklaces if you impress them or do something to make them laugh. Well one thing led to another to impress the ladies and my mate thought it was a good idea to pull his pants down to his ankles and swing his man sausage from side to side like a church bell at a wedding!

He was not aware of the police man stood behind him!!!! Christ, he looked like John Coffey (Micheal Clarke Duncan) from the film Green Mile with a badge and a loaded gun!!!! In a very authoritative voice he was told to pull his pants back up. He bent over to do so and gave the police man a view of his lower area that he did not want to see lol. Both of us got pinned to a wall and got a right talking to. God knows how we did not get arrested although an on the spot fine was given, did not pay it, we were going to Vagas in 2 days time so sod it pmsl.

 

[specs]

NO........

spoilsport

 

[Diddy]

Done a "number 2" on the landing just outside toilet....Aunties house, great night.....hmm
Reported my car stolen after day on the lash.....only to un-report it stolen after calling my mate who informed me that it was STILL sitting on his driveway where I had left it prior to the spur of the moment Friday morning all day sesh (Both skipping work like school kids lol). Old bill were not very impressed when I called them back.....got away with wasting police time...just.
Fell asleep on last train "home" from london.....too many times and expensive cab fairs to mention.
Woke up in strange houses...no idea how or who I was there with.
None of my shame involves violence BTW as I was never that way inclined. It's just when I was a young lad I could not handle my ale so good....lol
Many other scrapes and pranks down the years....could probably write a book tbh.