Things an Electrician would never say

[Kamikaze]

You know, the red wire don’t come any redder than the one you just cut through.

 

[bugsy]

Yes of course we belive in cost effective engineering, thats why your cookers wired in 1.5mm and looped about a bit under your kitchen floor tiles

 

[Kamikaze]

If you put your fingers on those MCCB terminals, you’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.

 

[DavidJ91]

Here we are, some shiny copper wires for your switch to match the brass and wood furniture

 

[Kamikaze]

Relax, this is for your protection and I know the tiewraps are tight but they’re new, they’ll stretch after you wear them a while.

 

[Kamikaze]

No madam, electricians don't need qualifications. All we need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!

 

[bugsy]

Mornin darlin my names Darren and I'm a knicker sniffer!

 

[Kamikaze]

At a job interview - "I'm so well qualified that if I don't get this job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent."

 

[simpson93]

nah im a plumber i just do this stuff part time all just a load of wires isnt it

 

[simpson93]

i love paying to do my work