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Discuss CK Tools Giveaway - Tell us what your most essential tool is to enter in the UK Electrical Forum area at ElectriciansForums.net

Electrical2go

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We are giving away a set of
CK Tools - Triton XLS Screwdrivers

worth £20.00
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For your chance to win, simply comment on this thread with Your favourite Sparky joke. (Keep it clean-ish)

The professional quality Triton XLS Screwdriver is designed with tip type marking for easy identification, a large soft grip tri-lobe handle for exceptional comfort and high torque turns. The handle is injection moulded directly to blade giving the ultimate bond for increased reliability and durability. Anti roll flats to prevent the screwdriver rolling off sloping surfaces. The blade is manufactured from a toughened alloy steel for excellent durability and precision machined tips to reduce the risk of tip breakage.
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The winner will be announced on 10th May.
(Please note: this competition is also running on both facebook and Twitter too,
so add more than one joke for extra chances to win).
(UK entries Only)
After we announce the result, if the winner does not respond within 5 days, another winner shall be chosen.
 
A chemist, a biologist and an electrician were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first. “Do you have anything you want to say?” asked the executioner, strapping him in ”No,” replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under State law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released. Then the biologist was brought forward. “Do you have anything you want to say?” “No, just get on with it.” The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released. Then the electrician was brought forward. “Do you have anything you want to say?” asked the executioner. “Yes,” replied the engineer. “If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work.”
 
bus full of elderly ladies on a trip breaks down.....
driver opens the bonnet to see if he can fix it.....
one old dear gets off the bus and asks him.....
" do you want a screw driver".....

"wait till i've fixed the bus" he replies.
 
I can't get these 2 things out of my head now trying to think of something funny...

the chuckle bros 'to me to you' and the scene from only fools and horses when the drop the chandelier
 
The chandelier scene always gets a link on a thread when anyone ever mentions a luminaire bigger than a 9” pendant. Still hilarious though!
 
If it didn’t sound so angry Charlie, I think that would be the winner!

I just made that joke up all by myself.

Haha I was trying to replicate the feelings that most sparkies show when replying to the dreaded bulb scenario..
My first idea was the sketch from life of Brian when the question is asked about the people’s front of Judea but that would have been even more angry :)
 
Electricians Jokes; I know two that pretty much always make me laugh....

1. Builders

2. Plasterers
 
A plumber,a plasterer and a spark,go for the same fancy job...
At the interview,they are each given two ball-bearing balls,and told to come back,the day after,with something useful and innovative,they have designed and made,themselves.

The next day,they all turn up.....the plumber presents his offering ..."i have soldered them to the end of these rods,and can use them as a hole punch,on gaskets..."

The plasterer,shows his offering..."i have glued wires to them,and made a swinging ball, desk ornament,called Newton's cradle..."

Impressed,the interviewer turns to the spark,and asks "and what have you done with yours?"


...spark grins,and says "i lost one,and broke the other......"
 
an electrician, a plumber, and a lawyer are shipwrecked and in a sinking dinghy.sharks are circling, when the electrician falls off.he is immediately eaten by the sharks,

next day, due to a severe leak in the dinghy that the plumber could not fix, as he'd left his push-fits on the ship, he sinks under the waves and is eaten by the sharks.

couple of days later, the lawyer, feeling all alone with noboddy to talk to/interrogate/ twist replies, dives overboard in a suicidal attempt.

the sharks all circle round and somehow leave him alone.

next day he's picked up by a passing cargo ship bound for Somalia with some young white slaves.

the "captain" of this sold barge wants to know why the sharks have not eaten the lawyer.

"professional courtesy" , says the lawyer.
 
Sparky, plumber and chippy stranded on a desert island with days to live when a genie pops up and grants them one wish.
Chippy wishes he was safe and back home and off he goes.
Sparky says the same thing and off he goes.
The plumber says he is now lonely and wants his two colleagues back with him.
 
Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck

Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck


Most essential tool is probably the new set of ck screwdrivers I hope to win :D
 
Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck

Hi there, either tell us your most essential electrician's tool you can't live without or tell us your favourite Sparky joke - Good luck


Most essential tool is probably the new set of ck screwdrivers I hope to win :D
 
an electrician, a plumber, and a lawyer are shipwrecked and in a sinking dinghy.sharks are circling, when the electrician falls off.he is immediately eaten by the sharks,

next day, due to a severe leak in the dinghy that the plumber could not fix, as he'd left his push-fits on the ship, he sinks under the waves and is eaten by the sharks.

couple of days later, the lawyer, feeling all alone with noboddy to talk to/interrogate/ twist replies, dives overboard in a suicidal attempt.

the sharks all circle round and somehow leave him alone.

next day he's picked up by a passing cargo ship bound for Somalia with some young white slaves.

the "captain" of this sold barge wants to know why the sharks have not eaten the lawyer.

"professional courtesy" , says the lawyer.
I hope you are a better thief than a comedian Tel........
 
Sparky, plumber and chippy stranded on a desert island with days to live when a genie pops up and grants them one wish.
Chippy wishes he was safe and back home and off he goes.
Sparky says the same thing and off he goes.
The plumber says he is now lonely and wants his two colleagues back with him.
It is tie between that one and the electric chair in my opinion up to now. :)
 
paddy the pilot is approaching Shannock Airport when he gets a Master Caution warning on the display of his Air Fungus 737. he radois in to the control tower with a pan,pan,pan, and tells them he has a problem..
control tower....."Paddy, what is your height and location?"

Paddy....... " Oi'm 5ft 9 and sitting in the front seat"
 

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