Awesome, a fellow tinfoiler lol I'm into all kinds of stuff, you're very much not alone. It takes courage to come somewhere like this and expose yourself, but it helps if you don't know anyone (much like I didn't)! Accupuncture and meridians are 100% a thing, shame big pharma can't make money from it and promote it instead of rubbishing through their corrupt media shills. God speed to you and thanks for the support.Thinking the above through a little; You bought a product to stop making you feel unwell or feel better. The product is making you ill. Therefore product does not deliver the promised benefits. Why are you still using it? Your dabbling with meters and wires is an attempt to fix the product that is apparently causing you harm.
Moving on, what kind of materials do you wear? What kind of bedding materials do you sleep on/in? I ask as nowadays most peoples clothes are made of recycled plastic bottles they put out for free each week and buy them back at tescos as highly expensive plastic clothes. Also bedding is invariably plastic of some kind. Maybe between your nylon carpets, plastic hoodies, pants, socks, trousers and T shirt and bed and carpet with your plastic toothbrush you are in effect a Van der graaf generator. The shocks in bed are you generating megawatts of static electricity. Perhaps conjugal relations might provide more of a van der graaf effect, seriously!
Anyway enough of that. I am a trained acupuncturist (non practicing) it is held in this ancient technique there are meridians points in the feet that benefit greatly from making direct contact with the earth for an hour or two each day. In the book of Abramelin he recommends walking on the earth for a couple of hours at the point of your birth location. There are stranger things than in your or mine philosophy! I haven't mentioned the acupuncture before as certain members on here might treat me unkindly. I trained in Leamington Spa college of traditional chinese acupuncture under Professor Worsley, but that was a another lifetime.
FYI. I Sleep in boxers only and yes I hear you about the static collection through clothes, etc. Before I came across this idea of grounding (about 2 months ago) I knew very little on the subject of bodily electricity. I knew about frequencies, vibration, chakras, etc. but didn't know the concept of the human body being able to store positive charge and the need to discharge it (much like a cloud and lightning).
I'm one sleep in so far. I didn't get a full nights sleep (about 6 hours) but it's increased from the night before and also the quality has improved. I'm thinking clearer too... The static I was getting in bed when I plugged the mat into the mains is GONE! Go figure. However, there is a very distinct tingling at the points of contact with the mat, it feels nice and not like I'm being micro-shocked. I'm also perceiving a sense of sinking into the mat and I was able to sleep a lot longer on my back last night, where normally I get unfomfortable and have to move onto my side to get to sleep. Not sure what all this means, but quality of sleep has improved.
So far so good!