Things an Electrician would never say

[martysparky]

sorry sir if your going to mess about in your shed you'll have to accept giving your family food poisoning from time to time.

 

[martysparky]

I want a dimmer in my kitchen for the spots....how many lights in your kitchen sir? 16 x gu10... ok I'll nip to B&Q for a dimmer switch now.

 

[sparky1502]

ofcourse your husband did the right thing wiring your shower in to the back of a socket luv.....i'll just test it for you

 

[scotsparky]

Its going to be cheep and easy!

 

[glynnis]

£500 for a full rewire from your friends brothers mate- i'd go for it myself.
And anyway that part-p thingy doesn't apply if the work is carried out on weekends and nights or if the materials are "acquired"!

 

[DurhamSparky]

The RCD Wont Reset Madam while your dead husbands body is still attached to the outdoor socket he fitted

 

[DurhamSparky]

what you fail to remember sir is that B&Q dont own me they own you and by the look at that finance agreement your holding for the new kitchen i can safely say they will soon own your house!

 

[DurhamSparky]

im sorry sir but your house needs a rewire ASAP, but unfortunately with you been attached to that life support machine i find it hard to accept your request to 30 days credit....!

 

[DurhamSparky]

in the good old days the electricity was provided by the electricity company and the electrician and the gas by the gas company and the Plumber ! now with the de-regulation of industry and freedom of the EU movement its not uncommon to find a polish baker installing your electricity or a French company supplying the gas...!! and with that love you still owe me £5000k for that rewire as you had your chance to shop around!!

 

[Phil]

shared neutrals are great and the rcd`s love em

 

[High Tower]

He he he afternoon Durham

 

[Paul.M]

A vacancy you say, £48k a year, company van, 5 weeks paid holiday and bonuses. I'll give it a miss and continue pat testing.

(loving your posts Durham)

 

[Paul.M]

8 grand and ill be a fully qualified sparky with a qualification cert for part p and there's loads of work waiting. Sign me up now.

 

[DurhamSparky]

hello guys...!! thought i would stick my foot in and have a shot!!

 

[DurhamSparky]

Hello Sparks R Us...!!

"hi Mrs Jones here, ive got a new light can you fit it"

Certainly that will be £35 quid

"What £35 QUID!!!.... i will do it my self its only wires"

Goodbye!!!

-----------

Ring Ring.....Hello Sparks R Us

"hi its Mr Jonee......Johnson Here... i fitted a new light and now my lights dont work"

what did you do....!!

"i put red to red and black to black"

Ok That will be £70 call out see you soon

Goodbye

 

[DurhamSparky]

no love its not my shiney new fuse box that killed your cat! it was the shiney new socket that your husband fitted from the lights that killed tiddles!

 

[scotsparky]

Call MR Electric !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a technical fault that needs highly qualified technicians.

 

[High Tower]

Call MR Electric !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a technical fault that needs highly qualified technicians.

The solutions to all problems, A mat and a diagnostic bag containing a neon screwdriver and a volt stick

 

[keniff]

that was a good idea to put the transformer so close to that inset fitting, i really like the shape its in now

That one made me laugh hard!

 

[alarm man]

what times your husband back..