Coronavirus - Keeping it light :-)

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Discuss Coronavirus - Keeping it light :-) in the Electricians Chat - Off Topic Chat area at ElectriciansForums.net

corona bin round for 2000 years, same as richard branson

3 Why didn’t Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem?

All Virgin flights were cancelled.


Why can’t Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn’t know how many tiers it should have.
 
Over at Cranfield flying school...

flying.jpg
 
old lady lives alone. struggling to work out how to start on a new jigsaw.
phones her neighbour and tells him she hasn't got a clue where to start. if you can come and help, i'll do you some breakfast.
OK says the neighbour, what's the jigsaw picture on the box?
a red rooster, she says.
so he ambles over takes a look and tells her there's no way we can get this done as a jigsaw.
now, let's put the cornflakes back in the box and have that breakfast.
 
telectrix said:
old lady lives alone. struggling to work out how to start on a new jigsaw.
phones her neighbour and tells him she hasn't got a clue where to start. if you can come and help, i'll do you some breakfast.
OK says the neighbour, what's the jigsaw picture on the box?
a red rooster, she says.
so he ambles over takes a look and tells her there's no way we can get this done as a jigsaw.
now, let's put the cornflakes back in the box and have that breakfast.
Click to expand...
On the subject of jigsaws, I used the first lockdown to have a go at my first one. I did it for 3 or 4 hours a night and it took me 4 months. I was quite pleased with that, it said 2 to 3 years on the box.
 
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4 Husbands
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
(Wait for it)
She smiled and explained,
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

I will get my hat.
 
There is another thread about replacing a so-called euro plug, to which I can't contribute as I don't have access to the DIY forum.
However, keeping things light...I love those 2 pin beauties! Yes, you can get rewireable ones, but of course they normally come moulded-on. Also, as previously pointed out, they come with different pin spacings, but it can be fun trying to get a match. However, my favourite thing is that they are "plugs"! Not "plug-tops" as they don't have a top...or a bottom. Thus, no need for endless arguments as to terminology.
 
our plugs have both tops and bottoms. the bottoms contain all the techy bits like pins, flex.terminals and a fuse. the tops are just there to hold the bottoms together and to stop you getting fried when you insert them into a socket.
 
pirate said:
There is another thread about replacing a so-called euro plug, to which I can't contribute as I don't have access to the DIY forum.
However, keeping things light...I love those 2 pin beauties! Yes, you can get rewireable ones, but of course they normally come moulded-on. Also, as previously pointed out, they come with different pin spacings, but it can be fun trying to get a match. However, my favourite thing is that they are "plugs"! Not "plug-tops" as they don't have a top...or a bottom. Thus, no need for endless arguments as to terminology.
Click to expand...
And the chap from Switzerland was nervous about how to change the plug, so nervous he took the earth pin out because the item did not need an earth, so he modified the plug and left a hole in the face of it.
 
Even in Italy you get two different conventions for sockets in use. The better hotels have both available so when you inevitably find you had the wrong adaptor with you, at least you have a 2nd go!
 
The plasterer told me a joke the other day.

He began the joke and then went quiet whilst I waited for the rest of it.

2 ladies sitting quietly together in a hairdressers, minding their own business...........
 
Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating. She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?" I replied: "He can smell she is ready. That's how nature works." We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe. Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram know when the ewe is ready for sex?" I replied: "It's nature. He can smell she is ready." We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating with the cow. My girlfriend said: "This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can't smell when she is ready?" I said: "Oh, yes; it's nature. All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex." Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye. She said: "Take care and get yourself checked out for Covid-19." Surprised, "Why do you say that?" I asked her. She replied: "You seem to have lost your sense of smell."
 
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