Things an Electrician would never say

[wildgoose]

It's normal for the sockets and light switches to be completley overplastered. There are really easy to locate and dig out!!!

 

[Bobster]

Earth's are for whimps

 

[Kamikaze]

Electricians are really easy to get along with once people learn to worship us. :17:

 

[Kiers1970]

you've had a price of £500, yet the materials are £300, and labour costs to me are £450? 'course I can match that price.

 

[SPARTYKUS]

I'll do that for free

 

[SPARTYKUS]

Yes sellotape will do just as good a job.

 

[Knobhead]

Kamikaze,
Love the new signature.

Sent from my bed via a bit of wire.

 

[Victor]

Connector blocks are too expensive, its cheaper just to twist the wires together. As for insulation tape, why should i buy those silly little rolls when I can get a big roll of Scellotape for much less money that does the job just as well.


This must have been quoted buy the cowboy who's installation I had to rip out and start again last year. (NO JOKE IT'S TRUE)

 

[Cammy]

'We don't have the fuse for that underfloor heating system.. Better go look for one'
'No. Stupid. I'll just strip back some of this flex and use a strand of that'

Another, sadly, true story.

 

[Kamikaze]

If you are grouchy, irritable, or just plain mean, there will be a £20 charge for putting up with you.

 

[SPARTYKUS]

I really enjoy a bit of plumbing

 

[Kamikaze]

I really enjoy a bit of plumbing

You just reminded me of a Chinese proverb - Man in shower playing with tool not necessarily plumber...lol

 

[RexT]

Hi guys,

How about:

To customer: 'Yes I always work cheaper on a Sunday and especially on a call out. So your problem was a total black out...., my best advice on this one would be to pay your electricity bill and read your mail. Now thats £70 call out, £30 for the technical diagnosis and £25 for not telling anyone....'

Best wishes

Rex

 

[Kamikaze]

My head says; "I should go and do some electrical work." but my heart says; "Stay on the internet, drink beer and type rubbish." :biggrin:

 

[chrisc 77]

oh your husband tested it himself and it's not live ? ok , saves me a job .

 

[timo1]

No cash thanks a cheque is the way I prefer to be paid.

 

[Kiers1970]

don't worry about those 3 extra days I've spent here doing all the extra's, never mind the materials either, all part of the service.

 

[Wiredspark]

ACTUAL CONVERSATION



****Monday morning telephone call with potential client****

Of course the guy that quoted you half my price is a better option. The fact that I planned and costed to do the work in normal hours and he plans to do it over the weekend for half my price means he fully intends not to cut any corners and do the job properly.

****Following Weeks telephone call with potential client****

Yes that price is still the same for that installation work. But because I'm goiong to have to rip out all the other guys stuff, there will be an additional charge.

 

[Wiredspark]

back off a55hole and don't let this install turn into a murder.

 

[QSGAZ]

You want to re-wire your own house? Theres an App fo that.

 

[Paul.M]

You want to re-wire your own house? Theres an App fo that.

No need to buy an app for £4.99 Mr customer. Save your money and just ask for step by step instructions on a forum .

 

[telectrix]

don't reader's digest still do a guide? my old man had one, years ago. 1st fixed 2 new RFCs in his house, then got me in to 2nd fix. think it was 14th going into 15th then.

 

[Aldridge oldpig]

No worries pal, you get your ducting in, you do your ceiling, then I'll do my 600 cable tray

 

[Aldridge oldpig]

Of course you can take my lifter, I'll use these combi's

 

[Kiers1970]

of course I beleive you've disconnected every plug from the socket, I'll just blast 500V down the cables to make sure..

 

[Mr Mike]

So, run that lot by me again...... you haven't done anything at all to the installation except,.

 

[tomski]

Thye've used the gas pipe as the main earth fr the whole house? Yeah that's fine i'll pass it then you dont ahve to spend 160 for a pme terminla to be fitted

 

[Kiers1970]

your friend says he can wire and plumb in your brand new shower from that consumer unit for a ton, of course I can beat that price, he's pulling your pants down isnt he?!

 

[tomski]

Yes you're right it is only 3 wires, so what are the other 12 behind this 4 gang switch for then???

 

[Kamikaze]

Yes you're right it is only 3 wires, so what are the other 12 behind this 4 gang switch for then???

Spares. :biggrin:

 

[Kamikaze]

I like you my apprentice, you remind me of when I was young and stupid.

 

[Kamikaze]

The electrons tell me I'm crazy, but the eddy currents tell me I'm not. I just don't know which ones to believe. :biggrin:

 

[gazz1]

advertised for a electrician in three thase and got back a cv with his experience he had level 1and2 in catering no good for the electrical side but thought at least he could make our sandwiches lol just cant get the staff ahh

 

[Kiers1970]

It's ok, I'll find this earth leakage fault with this clamp on Ammeter.

 

[Kamikaze]

Oops, I wonder if the coast is clear?

 

[Kiers1970]

I'm a Northerner, so I'll support Liverpool in this FA cup final.

 

[Top Cat]

Of course i can fit you those extra sockets without trunking or getting up your brand new carpet. I used to be a surgeon specialising in keyhole surgery!

 

[Kiers1970]

I can't wait to lift that nailed and glued chipboard floor, of course it will come up in one piece and go back down perfectly.

 

[scotsguy]

I'm sure he said " Red to red, black to black" Blue to F***

 

[JD6400]

I wish the plumber was still on this job , i have found a wiring fault and could do with his pearls of wisdom !

 

[Strima]

I'm a Electrical Trainee and know what I'm doing.

 

[Kamikaze]

These sockets we have fitted only come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide, and I can't for the life of me remember which ones we fitted. :willy_nilly:

 

[RAD_22]

Customer "Do you think the train light i have chosen is ok" "yeah if you like trains and it going to take me bloody ages to fit with all the separate glass peace’s, but i wont charge you any extra"

 

[jase]

Downlights? Oh im sorry, you need to speak to an illuminologist,

 

[Kamikaze]

Sooo why eyy eyyy can't I touch it? :biggrin:

 

[wildgoose]

Capping the cables in those channels is a waste of time. The plasterer would never slice into my wires!!!!

 

[Steve_P]

Yes mate, I'll pop round on Tuesday and sign off the rewire your girlfriends son did but missed the week where they told him how to fill forms in.

 

[Steve_P]

Of course I can move the consumer unit up the wall 4 feet so your husband doesn't bump his head on it when he goes past in his wheelchair.

 

[alexllever]

well, this is...mmm..because of...the thing is that, actually, yes.:disguise:

 

[Guest55]

All my rewires come with a free fire extinguisher.......