Ha - who needs friends anyway?

[Wilko]

One of my so-called friends sent me this. I think the implication being that I'm less than perfect ... Not sure, what was the question again?

 

[The Ghost]

There are a few things you need to know as you get older according to Billy Connolly
Never trust a f@rt
Never pass an opportunity to go to the loo
If you get a h@rd on, use it
Not that I personally subscribe or listen to such vulgarity.

 

[Wilko]

Ok, here's one I'll clean up :

The 3 geographic stages to intimate moments in a relationship :

Stage 1 : Anywhere moments - keenness and enthusiasm for the subject seems to override common sense etc.

Stage 2 : Bedroom moments - the initial rush has been replaced with a planned approach complete with checklists and risk assessments.

Stage3 : Hallway moments - perhaps marking the end stages of a relationship, this is when you pass by in the hallway and mutter "eff you" to each other.