Dilemma. Talking to women...

[gnuuser]

Its your wife "testing" you.

if she is the the only answer you need is
yes dear! (any married bloke knows sooner or later these are the only words you need to speak)!
(if you can get a word in edgewise)

 

[Squid]

You just need to keep talking about the things you know:
Hello baby, so long as there is low resistance I will be done in 0.4s
I really know how to turn things on.
I am very good at putting long straight things into small holes, I can do hundreds a day.
I love stripping.
I can make you scream, (just hold these two IR probes)
I love getting down to earth.
I can light up your life.
I am into SPDs and bonding.
I always use protective devices.
I know all about selection and erection.
Do you need any in service inspection and testing?
I have extensive rules for special locations.

You can't afford any new shoes, handbags, makeup, clothes, kitchen, bathroom, house as Carillion haven't paid me.................

They gave me this sports car instead..........

 

[elsparko]

Neve know anna might have been Andy in a past life. You can talk about whether you prefer to pee sitting or standing up. On a serious note my mate worked in ukraine in security. He met a ukrainian girl and she is great. They have been married 4 years now and have a baby. They arent all money grabbers and con artists.

all the british females ive been with have been money grabbing con artists, i call them "fairweather friends" because as soon as ---- hits the fan they are nowhere to be seen, only when times are good

i had an ex who knew exactly why i had 60 grand cars at the age of 19, as soon as she was with me for a bit she was on about selling the car and getting something she could drive too LOL.

she also thought because i didnt spend thousands on her that i had no money, i sent her a screenshot of my bank account and other investments, im sure she regrets it as she has about doubled in weight and is with some total mongpiece that hasnt got 2 pennies to rub together

 

[Squid]

all the british females ive been with have been money grabbing con artists, i call them "fairweather friends" because as soon as **** hits the fan they are nowhere to be seen, only when times are good

i had an ex who knew exactly why i had 60 grand cars at the age of 19, as soon as she was with me for a bit she was on about selling the car and getting something she could drive too LOL.

she also thought because i didnt spend thousands on her that i had no money, i sent her a screenshot of my bank account and other investments, im sure she regrets it as she has about doubled in weight and is with some total mongpiece that hasnt got 2 pennies to rub together

You sent her a screen shot of your investments and bank balance, uncouth peasant, I just send them a photo of my fat throbbing 12" member as thats enough.........

 

[elsparko]

You sent her a screen shot of your investments and bank balance, uncouth peasant, I just send them a photo of my fat throbbing 12" member as thats enough.........

i dont have to prove that though lol she got that

 

[Squid]

i dont have to prove that though lol she got that

The bank statements rolled up and shoved in your pants?!! ;o))))))

Always keep the lights turned on for the first time to see the quality of the goods as an Irn Bru or rolled up bank statements can be a disappointment lol....

 

[elsparko]

The bank statements rolled up and shoved in your pants?!! ;o))))))

Always keep the lights turned on for the first time to see the quality of the goods as an Irn Bru or rolled up bank statements can be a disappointment lol....

wads of £100s

 

[Squid]

A real man never boasts.......

 

[elsparko]

A real man never boasts.......

of course they do

 

[Spoon]

I never boast about my stunning good looks.....

 

[Squid]

of course they do

If you have to boast no wonder you meet dodgy fat Scots lasses with mental health issues (thats 90% of Scottish women which has been scientifically proven) just be honest and don't walk around like,

 

[elsparko]

If you have to boast no wonder you meet dodgy fat Scots lasses with mental health issues (thats 90% of Scottish women which has been scientifically proven) just be honest and don't walk around like,

its not so much boasting, as it is blatantly obvious im not shy of a bob or two.

 

[Squid]

Next you'll be telling us your net worth.

 

[Spoon]

its not so much boasting, as it is blatantly obvious im not shy of a bob or two.

If you have any spare money then you can send it my way...

 

[elsparko]

Next you'll be telling us your net worth.

 

[Squid]

Old joke I have those at home..........

 

[elsparko]

 

[LeeH]

View attachment 40367

Just seen this and I thought I'd give it a bash.. (No funny comments)
But being shy I was wondering what to chat about.. I really like comp games so I thought of asking:
When you are playing '7 Days to Die' do you prefer exploding the zombies heads with a baseball bat or using the shotgun???
I'm sure every women would love my question.
Any thoughts?

Was this a forum advert by any chance?!

 

[Spoon]

Was this a forum advert by any chance?!

Yes... I keep seeing them.
There is one of a poor girl who looks like she has bought a top too small, that can't fasten at the top and also got the best wonder bra, that would give my little moobs the best look ever..
Not sure whats its about as it's not in English... I'm presuming it's a 'complaint' advert...

 

[Wilko]

You want the Bersaglieri and don't forget the Roman Empire that conquered most of the known world.

Loved the vid !
Especially the chap right at the end - he was having a great time !