Site Canteen

[pirate]

Nah, it's fine hit the watch on youtube link and air guitar it!
Crikey, this rioja is fine stuff!
Must order a case for the canteen!

 

[Kamikaze]

I’ve seen the Driscoll Brothers hide all their pesetas in the pinball machine. The weight, is what is stopping everyone from cheating by rocking the machine.

Sorry bros, but I had to mute that video for a better experience. They should sack that sound technician. Although it’s hard to beat a bit of Brucey but hands up all those that think of Pulp Fiction whenever they hear this tune? And this is the moment those German kids found out that their parents partied harder than they ever did. Long live the Boss!!!

 

[Kamikaze]

Uh… that really did it for me. I'm not sure, but I think I need a cigarette and a shower after that! Now that the slow dances have started, it’s time for a sharp exit before one of the pensioners homes in on me. Pirate they are all yours!

The only way this video could have got any better is if Lzzy got her kit off.

 

[pirate]

Whew! That was magic, man! Only 2 pensioners arrived and Jabber chased them off, so result! After that it's all a bit of a blur...nipped out for a smoke and the fresh air floored me...

 

[Kamikaze]

After that it's all a bit of a blur...nipped out for a smoke and the fresh air floored me...

Tell me about it! The nuns from the convent on the way to their morning service found you star-fishing the pavement, holding on to the kerb for dear life, with Jabber sitting on your back singing “Donald, where's your troosers”. To buy their silence, I’ve had to invited them to our next knees-up. It’s alright though, they’ve promised they don’t get drunk, just less classy and more fun and they will be bringing their own Liebfraumilch. Luckily there are a few hymns on the jukebox for them.

 

[pirate]

Ah...I vaguely remember that...great tune btw!
Looking forward to seeing them nuns soon...not that I want to make a "habit" of it, but if there are any "surplice" ones we can keep them in "abbey-ance" for the next time...
Crikey, it's quiet in here! Oh well...(pulls San Miguel from fridge and hits F28 on jukebox)

Ive just come down from the Isle of Skye
Ah'm no very big an' ah'm awfully shy..
"Shut up Jabber!

 

[Kamikaze]

Gently pokes his head round the corner. Only Jabber is in… oh good! Three out of the four voices in my head want to go to sleep but there is always one that throws a spanner in the works. Pull four chairs together they say and some of us will be able to go to sleep they say. Sounds good to me! Pulled one of the chairs forward only to find a junction box with two spurs sprouting from it. Christ we better hide that in such a way so that not even google will be able to find it. Turn the lights out Jabber, there’s a good lad!!!

And is asleep before it gets dark…Zzzz….zzzz

 

[Kamikaze]

The Captains starship is still officially missing after the fool misplaced it. He tried to blame me for it, until he found out the boys and I had actually sneaked off early on Friday afternoon. And we were in the pub when the starships galactic positioning system was accidentally switched off on the toggle switch on the side of the captains chain. I told him not to have it mounded there but will these bigwigs listen! On a more positive note, all the catering staff, food and drink have arrived on the starship for tonight’s party. The canteen is looking very festive and Led Zeppelin is blasting out of all the speakers. It doesn’t get any better than this! They even brought some of those German marshmallows you get from the Christmas markets. What’s that old saying? Only those who work shall eat! I can recommend those alcoholic cherry ones. Just got to adjust the cunningly deployed tinsel and all will be good in the hood.
Jabber…I’ve got to nip out. You are in charge of security! If the captain rocks up, don’t let his mind wander, it’s far too small to be out by itself.

 

[Pete999]

The Captains starship is still officially missing after the fool misplaced it. He tried to blame me for it, until he found out the boys and I had actually sneaked off early on Friday afternoon. And we were in the pub when the starships galactic positioning system was accidentally switched off on the toggle switch on the side of the captains chain. I told him not to have it mounded there but will these bigwigs listen! On a more positive note, all the catering staff, food and drink have arrived on the starship for tonight’s party. The canteen is looking very festive and Led Zeppelin is blasting out of all the speakers. It doesn’t get any better than this! They even brought some of those German marshmallows you get from the Christmas markets. What’s that old saying? Only those who work shall eat! I can recommend those alcoholic cherry ones. Just got to adjust the cunningly deployed tinsel and all will be good in the hood.
Jabber…I’ve got to nip out. You are in charge of security! If the captain rocks up, don’t let his mind wander, it’s far too small to be out by itself.

Got any of that stuff you're taking left Kam? could do with a pick me up.

 

[Kamikaze]

Got any of that stuff you're taking left Kam? could do with a pick me up.

Ahhh…Pete! Welcome to the canteen! I hope you are having a really good Christmas and help yourself to the fruit cake Lady K made. Eat, drink and be mary!!! And because it’s you, you get to pull your Christmas cracker early. So lets hear the joke owt lad! How many ears does the Captain have? Oh…that is easy, a left ear, a right ear, and the final front ear.

 

[pirate]

Ah Jabber, there you are!
(Shuffles in looking distinctly hung-over)
Right, me hearties, let's get this party started! HIC!
Oh, by the way...(opens door wide and ushers in a guest...the young lady who changed the Yamaha outboard motor oil) meet JJ! She loves to party!
Now guys, don't be shy...she can empty your catheter in a trice!
Is the fridge fulll o' beer?
Worry not, I have 4 crates outside in my dinghy! and a couple of oars too...

 

[Kamikaze]

She knows how to blow my warp bubble!
Computer!!! Commander Kamikaze. Initiate auto-assimilation sequence! Authorization: Kamikaze, 4, 7, Echo, Tango, Charlie, Barbecue. Yamaha outboard motor girl‘s biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Her knowledge will be adapted to serve us. Resistance is futile. Welcome to the collective and she has made it onto my naughty and nice list.

 

[pirate]

Whew! Those pesky folks at the Shed dragged me away...they wanted me to wire up those new heaters in time for christmas...AARR! Actually, it was only the thermostats that puzzled them, so I was able to send them step-by-step instructions via the good auspices of this kind lady:

I hope I may be allowed to invite her to the canteen?

 

[Moley]

I hope I may be allowed to invite her to the canteen?

Only if she goes down the shop and gets the tea and milk in. Maybe some chocolate digestives too?

 

[Moley]

And I think she's forgotten her Hi-Vis.

 

[Kamikaze]

Holy Moley!!! Just got into the canteen and the place looks like a refugee holding centre. Some people obviously couldn’t find their way back to their living quarters. The last time I saw the Captain, he was behind the counter stuffing the turkey. It was gross! No PPE and not a single latex glove in sight. For breakfast, I’m gonna help myself to the last beer in the fridge and I’m heading outside to admire the stars. With any luck I will feel better by lunch time!

 

[pirate]

Never fear, Kamikaze!
I'm on my way...
Just loading my sleigh with a few crates of San Miguel, 4 cases of Rioja and a huge selection of cheese straws...plus a massive Christmas dumpling with individual Wago connectors wrapped in greaseproof paper!
Sadly, the ski-doo is out of bounds...I blew in my Alcosense (really good, get one!) and it just laughed at me! "Really, Pirate? I'm amazed you managed to raise me to your mouth unaided!" Sleigh it is then...
Still, the snow is deep enough, and Jabber will fly ahead to lead the way...
"Jabber?"
"Jabber???"
"JABBER!!!"

"Skwawk...hic...."


"OFFS!"

...I'll be a bit late guys, sorry...

 

[telectrix]

pirate, sure you have to go find the mainbrace and splice it.

 

[pirate]

Yes Tel! Got that sorted!
You have to wait until the sun is over the yard-arm...so I put my yard-arm on the lawn...sorted!
Now, where's my glass?

and i don't mean my telescope...

 

[pirate]

OUCH!!!

Found my telescope, then...