Things an Electrician would never say

[Kamikaze]

No Mr traffic warden, I've nothing against disabled people, I've even got one of their stickers on my car.

 

[Kamikaze]

I'm like Jesus, only better!

 

[simpson93]

i love it when people steal my tools.

 

[Kamikaze]

There is no point arguing with me about the bill Sir. It's like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you begin to think the pig likes it. So just cough up!

 

[nelson19]

i love junction boxes

 

[Kamikaze]

No Sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to condemn as many installations as we like.

 

[Kamikaze]

Warning!.......You want a warning?.......Ok, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another shock.

 

[saabuldin]

i love junction boxes

I love junction boxes inside plastered walls

 

[andyemms]

So you want me to replace the fuse wire and reconnect that 4mm cable that has exploded in your consumer unit because the last electrician has changed your shower to a more powerful 9.5kw....

Yeah no problem! Just got to get my cowboy hat.......

 

[Kamikaze]

So you want me to replace the fuse wire and reconnect that 4mm cable that has exploded in your consumer unit because the last electrician has changed your shower to a more powerful 9.5kw....

Yeah no problem! Just got to get my cowboy hat.......

Lovin' it.....lol. Don't forget them spurs.

 

[Kamikaze]

You know, the red wire don’t come any redder than the one you just cut through.

 

[bugsy]

Yes of course we belive in cost effective engineering, thats why your cookers wired in 1.5mm and looped about a bit under your kitchen floor tiles

 

[Kamikaze]

If you put your fingers on those MCCB terminals, you’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.

 

[DavidJ91]

Here we are, some shiny copper wires for your switch to match the brass and wood furniture

 

[Kamikaze]

Relax, this is for your protection and I know the tiewraps are tight but they’re new, they’ll stretch after you wear them a while.

 

[Kamikaze]

No madam, electricians don't need qualifications. All we need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!

 

[bugsy]

Mornin darlin my names Darren and I'm a knicker sniffer!

 

[Kamikaze]

At a job interview - "I'm so well qualified that if I don't get this job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent."

 

[simpson93]

nah im a plumber i just do this stuff part time all just a load of wires isnt it

 

[simpson93]

i love paying to do my work